Possum on a gum bush! It gets really hot here. You know the saying – “Its not the heat, it’s the humidity”? Well that’s the dang truth here in China. Seriously, just a quick jaunt down the block to the store and we’re soaking wet with perspiration. I suppose it counts as a workout though so I am not complaining.
Thankfully we don’t have to walk around the hood as much anymore because I have an e-bike. Oh, and a scooter. Well, one and a half scooters, because one of them doesn’t fully work – yet. Ok, let’s tackle the e-bike first. In China, E-Bikes or Electronic Bikes are everywhere.
If you’re confused on what I’m talking about – here is an example of mine –
My E-Bike is kind of like a scooter, but also a bicycle. I use the term bicycle loosely, as pedaling it is basically a last resort and not an easy task. It has a top speed of about 18 mph and can get me about 15 miles or so before I need to charge it. You may be asking, “Rob, how do I get one of these E-Bikes?” Well, I’ll tell you. Last week (or was it the week before?) I talked about all those crazy websites you can order stuff from here in China. Well that’s what I did. After some creative searching, I found the E-Bike I was looking for. Best thing about this thing – dirt cheap. On Amazon in the states, E-Bikes can easily cost around $1000 bucks. Here in China? Less than $200. I have no idea if they are good quality or not, but mine seems to support all of me just fine and doesn’t feel like it’s about to fall apart or is cheaply made. This is a work purchase though, not just some fun gadget!
Alanna has free transportation to her job. I, on the other hand, was left to fend for my own. I had options – ride the over-crowded bus, get a cheap taxi, or a private “Uber” like car to take me to and from work every day. I didn’t like any of those ideas as they involved me paying money to someone every day and also relying on them to be on time and ready to go. So I went with the other option – get an E-Bike. The good news again – they are dirt cheap. The bad news? They are technically illegal. You aren’t supposed to be driving them on the roads but everyone and their mother does, so why not me? Most people say that the authorities don’t really enforce this law, so I’m taking my chances. The worst they will probably do is just take it away from me. But I pass by police all the time on the thing and they haven’t even batted an eye at me so far. So yeah, I’m Ridin’ Dirty in China.
Yes, I know riding dirty actually means having illegal drugs and paraphernalia in your vehicle. No, I don’t have drugs in my vehicle.
The bike took a bit of getting use to – as it is NOT great going fast over neighborhood speed bumps.
She’s fine, don’t worry! But now I know how to handle a speed bump and will be getting a little kid seat to strap her in better behind me.
Did I mention we have scooters too? Like, electric scooters, not unlike the ones you can rent and drive around in the cities. You know, these things –
Did I mention the scooters were free of charge? A bad break up is my gain. No, not me and Alanna. Calm down. A co-worker of mine had enough of her man, so they parted ways. He left quite a few things behind. She was nice and waited and waited for him to claim the items he left, but alas, he did not. So she offered them to me! Two scooters – one that works perfectly fine and the other, that needs a little engine/motherboard repair I think. There is a shop in town that will fix it for me for cheap, but I’m in no rush. While these things aren’t as practical as the e-bike for longer trips, they are really good for zooming around our local area. Even Alanna has ridden one! And that’s saying a LOT. Top speed on ours is about 15 mph. I haven’t tested how long the battery lasts because we don’t go long distance with the scooter and it gets plugged in when you get home. But it is a nice addition. So, in summary, now I’m riding e-bikes and scooters in China. Oh, one more thing of note from that break up – ranch dressing. China doesn’t do ranch dressing. I know, I know, how could I move here? Well the ex-boyfriend left behind some bottles, one even unopened. And now they are mine.
Ok, now that I’ve bored you to death with stories of e-bikes and ranch, here is the week that was. Last week was a short work week for us as the weekend was the Mid-Autumn Festival. So we had Friday off, giving us a three day weekend. The holiday is kind of like Thanksgiving in that it is meant to be a celebration of a successful harvest and a time to spend with family eating together. They serve a special pastry during this time called Mooncakes.
You may have already heard of it. I had not. Mooncakes are a Chinese pastry that can be filled with all kinds of interesting things. Yes, you can have some filled with normal ingredients like chocolate or pineapple, but many of them are also filled with stuff like corn, green pea paste, red bean paste, lotus seeds, various other fruits and vegetables, pork, seafood, cheese, green tea and ice cream. Because they are a holiday treat, they are quite a bit more expensive than your regular run of the mill pastry. Be that as it may, and because last week there was a teacher appreciation day, both Alanna and I received a box of various flavors of mooncakes. I’m pretty sure I tried ones with corn, green peas, pineapple and red beans. While I found some of them to be mostly edible, many of them were not very tasty at all (I’m looking at you Green Pea Mooncake)! But hey, when in China.
This past Friday was not only a national holiday, but also my birthday. Which was also Friday the 13th. I’ve never gotten bent out of shape when my day of birth falls on the unluckiest (especially at Crystal Lake) of days. Although – my 21st birthday – was on Friday the 13th – and Tupac died that day. He’s still alive though – on an island with Elvis and JFK.
Don’t worry, its not King’s typical scary stuff if that’s not you cup of tea.
Where was I? Oh yes, my birthday. My wife works on an island. Yes, you read that right. How cool is that? It’s a literal island. There is a bridge that connects it to the mainland so no boat is required. We hadn’t had the chance to really explore her island, so we decided to take on a little bit of it for my birthday. First stop? A go-kart track. I heard about this spot through the grapevine and, if you know me, I’ll do anything once. We took a ride over the bridge early Friday morning and soon pulled up at the track. It looked… closed? Abandoned? A scene from the Walking Dead?
Some dude walking by told our driver that it was indeed open, so we headed up the steps and followed the signs. No one was there, other than a handful of employees and us. Granted, it was morning and they had just opened up but still, I’m not sure how this place stays in business. We found a ticket window and a price list. The karts came in two different varieties – 100cc and 150cc. I know nothing about cc, other than my time spent playing Mario Kart. The only thing I know is that 150cc is more powerful and faster than 100cc so that’s what I chose. Good news – the 150cc kart requirement means you have to wear a racing suit, racing mask, a helmet and gloves.
Pretty cool , right? The bad news – the 150cc kart requirement means you have to wear a racing suit, racing mask, yadda, yadda yadda… it was really hot in that thing. Once suited up, they took me out to the track and put me in a kart, which didn’t fit. No, this is not a fat joke. It’s a height joke. I was too tall. My knees were in the way when I tried to turn the wheel. I got a deeper kart and I was all set to go. Alanna? Nope, she wasn’t having it. She would have tried it if I really wanted her to, but it’s not really her thing. So I didn’t make her try it, in hopes she won’t make me try some dumb romantic comedy down the road. Abby was too short. (They had a pencil mark on a wall. You had to be above that.) Logan was tall enough but had no desire to almost kill himself on a track with absolutely zero safety regulations. He’s obviously the smartest one in the family.
The ride though was a blast. I got to speed around the track for 10 minutes, all alone, doing whatever the heck I wanted. The kart was surprisingly very fast and responsive. The track was a typical road course with all kinds of crazy turns, and like I said, no safety regulations. If you didn’t watch your speed or brake properly, you could easily sail off the course and into a tree. But I used my best Mario Kart skills and did just fine.
The kart would actually drift in some turns and would really pick up quite a lot of speed in the straightaways. All in all, it was a blast and I’m so glad I got to do something high energy on my birthday. I also lost 10 lbs in that racing suit.
Our next stop was a bicycle cart rental place. And when I mean bicycle cart I mean this –
Alanna and I did all the pedaling, as Abby was too short to reach the pedals and Logan’s feet didn’t touch them enough to actually do anything useful. We pedaled away from kart track and headed into the small historical town on the island. And you may have guessed – four white people + a kart bicycle thing = unrelenting stares from the local population. I think we’re sort of getting used to it, but I don’t think it will ever be something we don’t notice happening. The town was very old school China, with stone walls, merchants selling stuff everywhere, and even a Buddhist temple.
Alanna and I bought bananas for the kids and a coconut for ourselves, cause it was the tourist thing to do. The merchant chopped, carved and drilled a hole (with an actual electric drill) in our coconut and provided us with two straws. Yes, we got the picture of us drinking it, but it tasted like luke warm sour milk, so let’s just say we didn’t finish the thing once we were far out of the merchant’s sight.
We finished our island trip with a stop at a beach. Umm… bad idea. This beach here was… err… nasty. I am 99.9% sure that the stream of “water” coming out of the wall and spilling into ocean was raw sewage. The smell and the chunks (sorry TMI) gave it away. The kids went further down the beach and stuck their feet in the water. I did not, because you know, Ebola. The beach was also pretty littered with trash. To be fair, it’s not the ocean at this spot – its really a large sea that is mostly used for fishing. So no big waves or crystal clear water – mostly just trash and poop.
Later on that Friday evening, we took a trip down south to a place called the London Longue. We were hoping for some good international food. Translation – burgers, fries, stuff the kids would like. While the place had a nice atmosphere, and did have mostly non-Chinese menu choices, it was clear the food was “from” China. It tasted fine, but unfortunately didn’t taste any different than the selections we could get anywhere else. Not a bad place and I would still give it a good Google review, but it wasn’t the taste from home we were hoping for. One huge bright spot – we found out my amazing and challenging ten year old son can add mozzarella sticks to the short list of five or six things he’ll actually eat in life.
Speaking of a taste from home – Saturday night one of my co-workers hosted a Taco night. Now this tasted like home. Not that my home is Mexico, but you get the idea. It was potluck, so I made some kind of Mexican rice… thing… which turned out alright. We had tacos, bean dip, guacamole and I wore my Adios Pantalones t-shirt to fit the theme of the evening. I got to introduce my wife to my colleagues and eat tacos. Good times!
Ok, picture dump to follow, but for now…
 |
| This Chinese kid wanted me to take a selfie with him. |
