I cried today. I was from working home and listening to music on YouTube, when My Old Man by the Zac Brown Band came on my TV. I cried. Buckets. I’ve heard this song before. I’ve cried listening to this song before. Heck, I cry every single time I hear this song.
Crying isn’t natural for me though. I’m a man after all. I won’t bad mouth my folks and tell you that they forbid me to cry, but growing up, whether it was family, teachers, friends or just society, I was told… as a boy… as I man… I shouldn’t cry. Maybe not even told, but I knew what was expected of me. Now, as a man, I should be strong. I should be Vulcan-like, and keep my emotions, especially crying, in check. You know something? That’s bullshit. Men can and should be as emotional and cry just like women and children.
I cried when that (SPOILER) old man died in Squid Game (Or… did he? Sorry, SPOILER). I randomly cry sometimes when I’m watching America’s Got Talent auditions and some emotional story moment pops up. I cry thinking about just how much I love my wife. I cry when I talk about my children. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of utter despair. I cry them all. But, for the most part, I feel pretty guilty about it. I shouldn’t. And I’m gonna try to stop feeling guilty.
I did some quick research. By quick, I mean Google. I ran across an article by Michael Murphy. It helped me a little. The article says what I was thinking, but in a better way than I can put down in words. So here it is for you, gentleman, and for the women who support you:
5 Reasons Why Men Need To Learn How To Cry
Men are expected to be very strong creatures who shouldn’t cry but are expected to just “man up” and deal with whatever comes their way. However, there is no law or written rule that says men aren’t supposed to cry, especially when dealing with some of life’s most challenging obstacles.
Crying is often associated with weakness, but that is not the truth — crying shows humanity and passion. It is seen as the norm for women and children to cry, but even at a young age men have been taught that crying is for women or that it makes them less of a man if they cry. This is untrue — if anything, crying truly shows the ability to deal with problems.
Here are a few of the reasons why learning to cry is an important thing for all men.
1. They Can Relieve Stress
Each day of our lives we are faced with something that isn’t ideal, a circumstance that could break us or make us. Sometimes these situations seem as if they are too much, but even when faced with these things, crying can act as a stress reliever and allow for built-up emotions to be released.
Stress is something that we all have to struggle with — from our daily tasks and duties at our jobs to having to afford rent and bills and car notes. It’s all too much sometimes and the best way that you can respond to it is through a healthy manner, such as exercise, crying, or meditation.
2. They Can Prevent The Need To Swear To Express Anger
When faced with adversity, many of us yell out an expletive or resort to anger as a resolution. It’s important to learn that cursing and getting angry or even violent doesn’t solve anything.
Crying is a healthy outlet for those frustrations. No one likes someone with a dirty “sailor’s mouth,” and sometimes crying is the best way, and the healthier way, to release that anger. We are all guilty of using profanity, especially when angry, but if we would only decide to cry instead, perhaps we could prevent that next ?#*@%!
3. They Can Show A Softer Side
Many men put up a tough exterior in order to prove that they are a man, or at least what society has created as the idea of a man. A man can show strength and vulnerability at the same time and crying can link him to his significant other and show that he cares. Crying reflects truly caring about the situation at hand as well as showing care for the person you love.
4. They Can Show Their Children That It’s Okay To Cry
Children look up to their fathers and many boys mirror their father depending on how relevant he was in their life growing up. Men are strong figures in their children’s lives and have to deal with a lot in life — raising and providing for the child, paying a mortgage, etc. This all must be done under the facade of a never-wavering figure who doesn’t cry and just deals with things. However, this is not true — sometimes men have to cry to show their children that it’s okay for them to cry. This shows their children that their father cares, and also shows that their father is human.
5. They Can Show Joy
Crying isn’t always a bad thing, crying can sometimes display joy or happiness. For instance, crying when a child is born or when graduating school. Crying is a healthy and necessary thing for all people — including men. Crying can help to release stress hormones and toxins from the body and aid in soothing certain emotions. So many associate crying with pain or hurt and sometimes crying is not to show those emotions at all but to show sincerity and honesty.
Look up John 11:35…