One of the many goals whenever the fam and I disembark in a new country is to obtain my driver’s license as soon as possible. So, it was the same when we moved to China. It just took a lot longer to actually obtain said item than any of us expected. Between Chinese regulations and a world altering plague, today I FINALLY got my Chinese Driver’s license, 9 months after arriving in the country and 4 months after beginning the process.
Did you guys know there’s a pandemic going on right now? You might have heard of it. Covid-19 or something like that. Yeah, it started here in China. Or you can believe the thousand other conspiracy theories out there. I’m pretty sure the second gunman on the grassy knoll was Chinese. The Coronavirus did put a rather large kink in my plans to get my license. By kink, I mean postponement. As in, hey nothing is open here in China so you can’t get anything done. On top of that, the whole “getting process” is a bit convoluted. Being a seasoned expat at this point in my life though, I was prepared for what I figured would be an arduous task, giving myself the whole fall of last year to understand how to do everything.
Here’s a recap –
In January of this year, we purchased a car! Yes, we got a car before I had a driver’s license. Yes, this is counterintuitive, but my MUCH better half Alanna found an incredible deal on a very old car, so we quickly swooped in and purchased it. The deal involved the family participating in a Chinese tea ceremony in which cigarettes and a free kitten were offered. We took neither, as all we wanted was the car.
In any case, after some wheeling and dealing, the car was ours and we took it home. By home, I mean our complex. Which was also a process. We had to register the car first in our name, then get it registered at our complex, so that the gates would open when we entered and exited. Finally, we also received a private parking spot, in the underground garage beneath our building. Ok, I don’t think it’s under our building. It might be under another building. It’s like some giant subterranean world down there.
So I had a car, but no way to legally drive it. But like I said, I’d been doing my research. And by doing research, I mean Alanna used her vastly superior brain to figure everything out and then told me how to do it. The process was time-consuming and I began it sometime mid-January. I first had to get some documents translated into Chinese – some official stuff, my US license and the like. Next, I had to go get a medical report. Yes, to get a driver’s license in China, I was required to go to Hospital Number 5 (Flashbacks abounded) and get a physical. They were mostly concerned with hearing and vision, which I passed according to Chinese standards. I also had to get some passport size photos taken. No, they don’t “take your picture” at the Chinese DMV. You bring your own pictures, which they use on the medical form, the actual ID and a few other important documents that I can’t begin to understand.
After about a week’s worth of paperwork, I finally had it all ready to go and could head to the Chinese DMV to get my license. And then… CORONAVIRUS. This was when everyone went into quarantine here in China. Everything shut down, and that included pretty much all government facilities, the DMV of course being one of them. Getting my license was put on the back burner for a few months at least. I did illegally drive my car inside our complex once, but that is the closest I’d come to actually being on the road in anything more powerful than a scooter at this point in our China experience.
In late April, as businesses were slowly opening up here in my neck of China, there was hope (wishful thinking) that the DMV was opened as well. Since Alanna was physically working at this point, I urged her to speak with her Chinese colleagues about such a DMV opening opportunity. To our great joy, these nice colleagues said that the DMV was open! Hooray! I immediately gathered up all my paperwork, got a driver and was taken to the DMV. Which was closed. Not open. The guards at the gate of the place told my driver (who translated it to me) that the DMV was not open, had no idea when it was going to open, and they couldn’t quite understand how we didn’t know such a thing. So, with my head hung low, I headed back home and began the waiting process all over again.
Fast forward to the third week of May – in which Alanna’s colleagues informed us that now they were SURE the DMV was open, and that I could go apply, finally, for my Chinese Driver’s License. I grabbed a driver and was shuttled back to the DMV, which this time, thankfully, was open! Oh, but the story doesn’t end here. Not in China. The process is always a little more difficult than it should be. On this first successful trip to the DMV, I was allowed only to make an appointment, so that I could come back to the DMV at a later date in the week to take the test to get my license. After they checked my paperwork, they gave me a few other papers that I would use to pay, and also make my appointment with, which had to be done on WeChat, when I left, and it was all in Chinese, and I was thoroughly confused. Once I got home, it didn’t even work right that evening, but the next morning, with the help of one of my Chinese friends, I was able to successfully make the appointment. I made the appointment for a few days later and began to study for the test. The test is just a written exam. Those that have a license from another country don’t have to take a driving test. The written test though, I had to take. It is 100 questions, 40 which were agree/disagree and then 60 which were multiple choice. You have to make a 90% or better to pass this test. I wasn’t worried. I’m Smarty McSmarterson. How hard can it be, right? I found some similar tests online. Most of the questions seemed pretty straight forward and involved just being safe on the road. I would pass this test with flying colors. Right? Wrong!
I arrived at the DMV last week to take my test. It was raining, I was confused on where to go, but there was one nice lady who worked there that spoke English. As soon as I walked in, all the people working yelled for her to come help me. She told me the process:
Step 1 – Go to the second floor of the next building and put all your personal items in a locker.
Step 2 – Go to the third floor of that building, show them your paperwork and passport and they will set you up with the exam.
Step 3 – Take them exam. If you don’t pass, you can immediately take it again.
Step 4 – Go back to the second floor, get your stuff from the locker, then go watch a video.
Step 5 – Get your license.
I headed out, not remembering half of what she said. I did find the second floor of the next building. Seeing a bunch of lockers in the area kind of told me I was in the right place. Everything’s in Chinese though. I sorted it out – I had to push a button, which gave me a ticket. Then, one of the random 100 lockers would pop open. I put my stuff in the locker, closed it, then I would scan that ticket when I came back to open the locker. With my stuff put away, I headed up to the third floor to take the test.
They checked me in, and through what I can only describe as grunts and sign language, they asked me if I wanted to take the test in Chinese or English. I decided to take the test in English, since, you know, I don’t speak Chinese. Then they gave me a number – 93. I turned around and there were at least 150 cubicles, each with a computer inside them. I would say that half of those cubicles on this day were already occupied. I waded through the rows until I found number 93, then sat down and began my test. It’s all done on the computer, by just clicking a mouse. There is also a camera monitoring you the entire time, which you can see as you take the test. At one point during the test, I was keeping my hand up by my face because wearing a mask gets annoying. One of the DMV fellows came by, and in a very loud voice and broken English shouted “HAND DOWN”. I suppose he thought I was cheating, as if I had the answers written on my hand.
Side note – they used to cheat on the test back in the day. Originally, there was no English version. You just paid someone who knew Chinese to sit and take the test with you. What that really meant – you paid someone else to take the test. You didn’t even need to know anything. They did the whole thing for you. But not anymore, I had to pass the test all on my own.
Back to the test. It started out with most of the same type of questions I expected- the ones about safety and being a nice and courteous driver. But then, about half way through the test, it veered dramatically in a totally different direction. Suddenly the questions were about how many penalty points you would receive for specific violations, or what was the speed limit on an unmarked two lane road in the country, or what kind of sticker should be on your vehicle for the car to be legally driven. I had never studied nor even seen any of these types of questions. So, after I finished my test, I saw that my score was 80. Which was 10 points less than what I needed to pass. Oh, but I had a second chance immediately! And I didn’t pass again. I made an even lower score that time. I shuffled out of the testing room, made my way back to the second floor, retrieved my personal items, then headed to the other building and back to that one lady who spoke English so she could tell me what I needed to do. The lady was nice and explained that I could just retake the test in a couple days. I would have to of course make another appointment when I got home, on WeChat, in Chinese, but by now I am practically an expert at such trivial things.
Clearly though, I needed a study guide for this test, as with those type of questions I was severely underprepared for during attempts 1 and 2. An expat colleague had taken the test in early January and had passed, so I reached out to her. She led me to an app I could download. This app had all of the 1000 possible questions that could fill the 100 question exam I would take. It provided a nice way to study, gradually getting me to the point where I was comfortable with all the questions.
Alanna’s favorite question – It is not safe for a woman to wear high heels when driving. Agree/Disagree. The correct answer was agree, but we loved how the question was only directed at women So, if I wanted to wear high heels while driving as a man, then it would be perfectly safe according to the Chinese law.
After spending the rest of this week studying the questions on the app, this morning, a Saturday, was my next scheduled appointment. As we were waking up this morning, we were under a Red Rain Warning. That means, according to my wife, some kind of typhoon-like precipitation was in our area. Oh joy, that’s a good start to the day, Apparently, if this type of warning happens during the week, school is cancelled. But hey, DMV would be open right? I know what you’re thinking, but thankfully the place was still open and not flooded when I arrived. The only thing that was different on a Saturday was that it was much more crowded than during the week. Let my clarify though – while there were a million (that’s an over estimation) people there, China is super efficient. There’s no waiting outside in a line and spending 5 hours at the DMV like my previous experiences in the good ole’ U S of A. I went through the same process – I checked in, dropped off my stuff, headed to the test room (pretty much every cubicle was occupied this time) and took my test. Which I passed. The first time. 94% That’s an A. It’s not an A+, but I was never an A+ type of student so I’m happy with the results.
With the test over and done, I headed to step 4, which was to go watch a video. Now, I’d been warned about the video. It’s a graphic, real-life video meant to scare the bejesus out of you to make sure you drive correctly and safely. I remember such things like that in my driver’s education course in the 90s – “Blood on the Highway”, I think it was called. But Blood on the Highway would have been considered a G Rated movie compared to the NC-17 horror flick I was forced to watch today at the Chinese DMV. I won’t get into the gory details, but… wow… they showed everything, multiple times, in slow motion, and zoomed on certain parts that they wanted to emphasize. This video was all in Chinese of course, so I had no idea what was happening, only just watched the graphic images and scenes that it showed… over and over again. During the video, a DMV official came around to everyone to check paperwork. I didn’t have the same paperwork as everyone, so I was a bit worried. But after we translated to each other through our phones, he told me to stay in the room after the video was done and he would get me sorted out.
After the video, one the DMV dudes got on a microphone and told (I guess. I don’t speak Chinese) everyone to stand up. I think this was the “Pledge of Allegiance to China to be Safe and Honorable Driver” part of my day. We all raised our right hand, balled it into a fist and placed it close to the right side of our head. We all then had to read out loud some paragraph on the wall. Yes, it was in Chinese. I just stood there, thankful for once to be wearing a mask as the 100 or so other new Chinese drivers read the pledge. We all agreed to something at the end. I think I’m probably a member of the Communist party now. I’m really not sure what was happening. Everyone else left, but I stayed behind and did what I was told. The DMV dude pointed to some symbol on the wall.
He told me to go back to the first building, find that symbol and then go the window there to pick up my new license, in a few hours. So I did that. I found that symbol. I sat down and waited. And it only took about 15 minutes before they told me that Luōbótè’s license was ready. Luōbótè – that’s my Chinese name. It kind of sounds like Robert, but with an L. It’s written as 罗伯特 in Chinese. I had to write it like that a few times. I am totally not good at Chinese.
Anyway, here it is. My license –
I now have my very own, totally official, was a breeze to get – Chinese Driver’s License. I plan to go out and drive all over my adopted city. When it stops raining of course.
Good! you can drive me around when my plane lands there..😉😀
Yeah, whenever they let you guys in the country!