Author: Staton23

Reflections on the 10 things Rob has learned about diapers in 9 months.

1. Never think you have witnessed the worst.

2. Never put it on too loose.

3. Don’t let them see you take it off.

4. Make sure they are finished before you open it, for the love of God.

5. There is no such thing as too many wipes.

6. Get another one under that butt ASAP.

7. Never ever try save the clothing with an explosive mess.  It just spreads the mess in places it shouldn’t.

8. Don’t expect any one color when you open up that diaper.  It can be anything from soft light brown to  glow in the dark green .

9. Don’t tickle them when the diaper is open. They may not be finished and it might go off.

And 10. The lesson of the day – Don’t under estimate a one year old’s curiosity of the feel of fresh poo between their small fingers.

It is past midnight here in the UAE, so that means its January 19, or as everyone else calls it… Alanna Staton’s birthday.  She’s sleeping now, with Logan tucked in by her side.  Tomorrow she’s heading to the spa to get all girlied up.  I have no idea what that means, but it involves getting your hair done/cut, manicures, pedicures, massages and whatn0t.  The lady deserves more than that, but hopefully she’ll enjoy it.  Then we’ll top it off with some dinner.  So Happy Birthday to the most special woman in the whole world.

I haven’t blogged much lately.  Yes, I’ve had time.  Guess I’m just lazy.  Not too much going on here in the desert though.  We made it through the holidays and now we’re back to the regular routine.  Logan and I both got a bad case of the flu a few weeks ago.  It lingered for over a week and really had me sidelined for two weekends.  Alanna took care of both her babies.  And I am really a baby when I’m sick.  I guess wives have to be moms to their kids and their hubbys sometimes.

Logan Update – He changes every week.  He’s growing up way too fast.  He finally has his first tooth poking through.  Its the one of the middle bottoms.  Let me tell you… it hurts if he bites you.  I read you can rub you finger over their gums to help relieve the pain of teething.  I was trying that last week and he chomped down on my finger, biting right through my skin and made me bleed!  So now I’m a little more careful.  Logan is also mobile.  When I say mobile.. I mean he’s crawling all over the place.  Its not a full crawl all the time though.  Sometimes, he just kind of scoot/scrawls, sliding his legs behind him.  Very cute I must say.  What a blessing this little boy is turning out to be!  And I’m so thankful for him.

Let’s see… Entertainment next?  Saw Avatar.  Liked it, didn’t love the story.  Don’t think it deserved a Golden Globe.  Saw Sherlock Holmes.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I really thought. from seeing the trailers, it would be an action yawn, but it was witty, funny and downright enjoyable.  In the video game department, I’m playing WoW most nights after the Alanna and Logan go to bed.  Its a nice, geeky hobby.  My account got hacked last week though.  The thieves took all my gear, gold, and even stole stuff from the guild bank.  Then they transfered my main to a different server!  My good buddy Jeff quickly figured out the problem and let me know, so I changed the password to stop them from doing further damage.  After a few emails and in game requests to Blizzard (parent company of WoW), I was able to get all my stuff back within just a few days.  So now all is well in the world of Azeroth.  Yes, I’m a geek.  Hmm… books?  Yes.  I’ve been reading Steve Berry’s Cotton Malone series.  Sort of like Dan Brown’s works – good historical based “what if” fiction.  I’m on the third of the series.  Good stuff.  Did that cover all of entertainment?  Oh… no it didn’t.  Sports – the Superbowl is coming up.  I’m picking the Saints vs. Colts, with the Colts winning.  I believe the game will start at about 3:30am here.  So I’m gonna try to go to bed really early that night, then hopefully get up and watch it.  In other TV stuff – LOST and Smallville return in a few more weeks!  Ok, enterainment – check.

Alanna’s big break (Muslims don’t celebrate Christmas, so they have a two week break near the end of January for something or other) is coming up soon.  We’re gonna spend the first part of it in the neighboring country of Oman.  Alanna is gonna do some night scuba diving and I’m gonna… lie around on the beach doing nothing.  I’m really good at that you know.  Hopefully we’ll get a chance to do some touristy stuff there as well.  I enjoy the sightseeing, etc.   We may slip into Dubai once over break as well.  There’s just so much to do there.  If I can just calm Alanna down around all the traffic, then we’ll be just fine.  I do so want to go inside the world’s tallest building now that its open.

Ok, short and sweet and I’m out.  I’ll let you know how Oman goes next time!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and everyone of you!  The holidays here in the UAE, as you can imagine, are different.   First of all, Muslims don’t celebrate the birth of Jesus.   Strangely enough,  I have noticed that they do celebrate the secular side of the holiday.  They love the shopping/presents part and their children absolutely adore Santa Claus.  More on Christmas later.  Here’s a catch me up…

 The family is doing great.  Alanna has been working hard  and gaining a little bit of ground with her school kids.  The language barrier and their total lack of any behavior skills is a tough road for her though.  My stay at home Dad job is really easy compared

to what she has to go through every day.  But its nice when she comes home and gives me and Logan big kisses.  She is very happy to come home to us everyday.  Speaking of Logan, he is doing well.  Our recent doctor visit has comfirmed that he’s still a healthy baby boy.  He’s doubled his birth weight and now sits at about 19lbs.  He has such a personality.   He’s a charmer with all the ladies.  He gets that from me.  He is growing by leaps and bounds every week.  He sits up so well now, and is trying his best to crawl.  He mostly just scoots backards on his stomach, but its progress!  I love having a son and I love being a father.  It is truly an amazingly rewardable experience.

My job at House of the Arts has been going well.  We had 4 youth choir  Christmas concerts as well an end of the year performance by my drama classes.  They did Casey at the Bat.  I basically took a Readers Threatre version of it and added some pantamime.  The kids did really well and their parents loved it.  The youth choir performances were hectic though.  Many of our start times were changed at the last minute due to Muslim tradition and holidays.  We never knew when we were starting and most of the time we started an hour late.  Our final performance this last Wednesday was a LuLus Supermarket.  It’s a big Super Walmart type of store.  The whole gig wasn’t planned very well by the store.  First of all, they stuck us in a corner where no one could really find us.  Next, they didn’t have the sound system or piano set up when we got there, so yes, we started an hour late.  They had no microphone stands, so they just… get this… tied microphones to wires and hung them overtop of the kids.  They were swinging back and forth.  There was also no way to connect the piano to the sound system.  So they just taped a microphone under the piano and that … sort… of… worked.  Wait, there’s more.  LuLus wanted their employees to sing with us, so we let about 15 Filipino guys and girls get up on stage and sing “back up” for us.  Since we sang traditional Christmas Carols, we just printed out the lyrics so they could sing along.  I never really heard them sing during the performance except during the 12 Days of Christmas.  When we got to the 5^th day of Christmas, the LuLus employees shouted 5 GOLDEN RINGS each time that phrase came up.  My choir kids turned around and starred at them each time.  To top the evening off… about half way through our concert we heard someone banging a drum right in the middle of one of our songs.  It was… Santa Claus.  Yes, he wanted everyone to come see him.  So every single kid, along with their parents who were in the audience turned around and ran towards Santa…  again.. right in the middle of one of our songs.  We were only about half way through our performance, so we basically just cut it short and sang We Wish You a Merry Christmas. 

 Apparently Santa was part of the LuLus’ staff.  Couldn’t they have timed that a LITTLE better?  This Santa was scary.  He wore a Santa mask!  And weird gloves, and well…  I made Logan take a picture with him.  So Logan’s first ever picture with Santa looks as if a bank robber is holding him.

On to Christmas! Christmas Eve was nice and relaxing.  Alanna went out shopping and let me sleep in.  She returned with Papa Johns Pizza and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.  She sure knows the way to my heart.  We also started a nice tradition of reading the Christmas Story (THE Christmas Story… from the Bible) to Logan.  Hopefully we can keep that tradition going each year.   Alanna and I didn’t really do the whole present swapping thing for each other this year.  We basically went out together and just bought ourselves some things we both could use.  First and foremost was a new laptop.  Our old one was nice, but it really didn’t have any bells and whistles.  So now we have one fast enough for me to play some games (meaning WoW) on, which is something I’ve really been missing in my life!  It’s a nice break for me!  So now we have two laptops and we each can be on one and not have to share back and forth.  Secondly, we bought ourselves an exercise machine.  It was cheap but does a lot of stuff.  Its basically an Elliptical machine with an added stair climber, dumb bells, ab exerciser and a belt massager.  We didn’t pay very much for it here, but it does a lot for us and we’re trying to use it every day.  We both have lost almost 20lbs a piece since we’ve been here from dieting alone, so hopefully adding in the daily exercise will help even more.  Alanna also snuck out an bought me a cheap handheld GPS so I can go geocaching.  There are some good caches over here.  I’ve just had no way to locate them effectively until now.  I love my wife.  She’s so thoughtful. 

We did buy Logan some gifts, along with the ones our families sent him.  So he got to open some presents.  For being only 7 months old, he has already mastered the art of ripping open wrapping paper.  We Skyped with both of our families so they could watch him unwrap his gifts.  Skype is so good for us.  It is really nice to be able to see and hear our families and to let them see

Logan as he grows up this year.  We also had a big Christmas dinner with a bunch of our expat friends.  Like Thanksgiving, everyone (well not everyone.  Some were freeloaders) brought some type of dish.  So there was plenty of good homecooked food to go around.  We had drawn secret santa gift earlier in the month, so we opened those as well.  We got a 50dhs gift certificate to Chillis.  We went ahead and cashed that sucker in today.  Chillis is by far the best place to get American style food here.  So we eat there quite often.

We’ll be spending New Years Eve at our Scottish friends’ place.  They are serving Haggis and we’re dancing the Gay Gordons.  Look it up on Youtube if you’re interested.  I do hope all of you had a Merry Christmas and I wish you a very prosperous 2010!

Here’s an update from Thanksgiving until present. Thanksgiving was absolutely amazing for us this year. We dined with 20 of our closest Expat friends. Everyone made their own dish. There was so much good AMERICAN food. 2 big turkeys as well! I ate my full first plate in about 1 minute. It was so good. I had a total of 3 ½ plates. The food by far was the highlight, but the fun and fellowship was more than worth it as well. All in all, I had a lot of be thankful for this year.

 We had another one of those Eid Holidays this year along with UAE National Day, so there was basically a nice 10 day break for us. After Thanksgiving, we rested on that Friday and Saturday. I was very excited that this country has no such thing as Black Friday. I personally think it is moronic for people to camp out in front of a Walmart or get up at 3am to get a good deal at Best Buy. Christmas has become was too materialistic. No one even celebrates the birth of CHRIST anymore. Getting away from my rant, and back to my blog… we decided to spend a few days in Dubai for part of our break. Alanna found us a nice hotel – The Arabian Courtyard. Her main reason for choosing it? Babysitting. Yes, they came to our room and watched little Logan for us so we could have a few romantic dates.

So we drove up early on Sunday afternoon. The drive was pleasant enough. People basically drive as fast as they want on the interstates here, slowing down only when they see Radar Cameras. That’s the only was you get a ticket. There are no actual police patrolling anywhere. You have to call them if you need to see them. We could have taken a bus for cheap there but I just knew I’d have no trouble driving so I insisted. As we got within about 20 minutes of

 downtown, you could already see the Burj Dubai rising twice as high as any other building in the skyline. It is now the largest building in the world. What an amazing sight it was indeed. So we got to town and found our way to where I thought the general location of our hotel was. Well then we drove around in circles for 20 minutes and couldn’t find the hotel. We never really got lost, just couldn’t find the dang place. Finally, with Logan crying and my wife begging, we pulled over. Alanna got in a taxi and we followed it to the hotel, about 2 minutes away. We kept taking a right when we should have went left. We would have never found it though without the taxi. We got free valet parking and left the car there until we checked out.

After getting checked in at the hotel, we dropped off our bags, fed Logan, then went outside to explore. Using the famous Angie Triplett Method of Vacationing, we made ourselves a detailed itinerary. Our first stop was the Dubai Museum, which happened to be directly across the street from the hotel. It was a nice place. It basically gave the history of old Dubai and how things were back in the day. I enjoy anything historical so it was a neat time. After that we walked around a little more, taking in the Grand Mosque, stopping at a store that was named after Carolina, and then we were hounded to buy fake watches, fake purses, etc, etc, etc. We went back to the hotel to freshen up for our first well deserved date. The babysitter arrived on time and we decided to do something simple for date night # 1. We stayed in the hotel and went to a restaurant there, the Sherlock Holmes Pub. I’m a big fan of the man myself, although this place only took the name, not much else. I had a steak for the first time since coming to the UAE. It was tasty and my tummy was satisfied. We even got back a little early to the room just cause we missed little Lolo so much.

 Day 2 started early for us. On the Angie Triplett itinerary was the Dubai Aquarium, Dubai Mall and the Atlantis Hotel, which is on the Palm Island. Google it. Go to google and type in Palm Island Dubai. Its way cool. The Aquarium was

nice. They had some big sharks in the walkthrough tunnel, some seals and even penguins. After the Aquarium, which was in the mall, we walked around it for awhile. HUGE mall. Three stories of store after store after store. The food court was as big as a typical Walmart. We found Taco Bell there (we hadn’t seen one in the country yet). Taco Bell is just as cheap here as it is in the States. Next, we hopped a bus and headed out to the Palm Island to visit the Atlantis Hotel. As we rushed to get off the bus, we left the video camera on it. After 15 minutes of panicking, we got in touch with the bus people and they said the driver would have it for us we he came back to pick us up. Problem solved. The Atlantis was spectacular. There was a Porsche, two Lamborghinis, a Ferrari and a Roles-Royce parked outside. We toured the inside, which was packed with people, then went outside and took some pictures along the public beach walkway. The Atlantis, as it should, as its own private beach that we couldn’t go see. The bus showed up, with our camera and we hopped back on it and went back to the mall. This just saved us some taxi fares because the bus was free.

We then headed back to the hotel, the babysitter took Logan and we walked down to the old part of Dubai, along the Dubai Creek. We hopped on an abra, which is a water taxi. It’s a wooden motorboat which fits about 20 people on it and takes you to the other side of the river. It was a neat, cultural experience, especially at night. On the other side of the creek is the Old Souk. Its basically a bunch of local merchants crammed into many different alleys. We didn’t really by anything, but it was neat to walk up and down the streets. We couldn’t find anything to eat on that side of the river, so we hopped back on the abra, oh… which cost 1dhs (33 cents) by the way, and headed back in the direction towards our hotel. We found a little pizza place. It was an Italian Pizza place, in the UAE, and we were served by the Asian lady who seemed to be the manager. We ate outside. The pizza was good and we were happy. We headed back, Alanna bought her a cheap fake designer purse, then called it a night.

On our final day, we got up early and headed down to the public beach. Other than the literally ton of cigarette butts

all over the sand, the beach was nice. Logan got his first ocean experience and we took lots of pictures. We stayed there about 2 hours (that’s about as long as Logan could take), then headed back to the hotel, checked out and came back to Al Ain. I really want to go back to Dubai a few more times at least. There is just so much to see and do there!

The rest of this week we spent relaxing and shopping. We took Logan to the doctor tonight for a scheduled round of shots. What a nightmare. I don’t like hospitals in the first place, and the ones here are a pain in the butt. We went in two days ago and made Logan’s appointment with a doctor we heard good things about. We set an appointment for 7pm. Yeah, they do things late here. We get to the hospital tonight and reception tells us that our doctor is on vacation. No one bothered to tell us that before. He would be gone for a month. We decided, since we were there, to see another doctor. We got to the pediatrics area and found out that not only were we not told about our doctor being on vacation, that they also moved our appointment from 7pm to 8:15pm. We pitched a small fit and the nurse told us she’d get us in next. We didn’t wait too long and they brought us in. The lady doctor was nice enough. We went over what shots we would need and then she examined Logan. She did a pretty thorough examination, except for the small fact that she didn’t bother to take his diaper off. So I hope his penis is ok. She then told us to go with the nurse to the cashier. Apparently we had to pay before we got the shots. So we went to the cashier, paid, and then he told us to go to the pharmacy outside and get the vaccines for the shots. What? We had to go get the stuff? They didn’t have it with the doctor? Well we went outside and into the pharmacy, got the shots, then brought them back. We had to wait for the doctor again, then went back inside. Of course, the nurse forgot to add one of the shots to our bill, so we didn’t get it at the pharmacy. So I got the paperwork, waited in line at the cashier and pharmacy again and finally got back, leaving Alanna to watch little Logan take his shots like a champ. She said he only cried when the doc stuck him and by the time I got back he was smiling. Guess he takes after his Daddy?

Alanna goes back to work tomorrow. She’s not very happy about that. I go back to taking care of the little man and playing video games. Right now… I’m watching through the internet UK beating up on UNC. Boo.

Happy Thanksgiving.  I do have a lot to be thankful for this year.  First and foremost is Alanna and Logan.  I can’t remember sometimes what my life like was before them.  I can’t imagine how I made it through one single day without them.  I am thankful for my family and friends around the world.  Most of you are far away, but close still in my heart.  I am thankful for my health.  My prostate issues have taken a hiatus since I’ve been in the UAE.  I can tell they’re still there, but I’ve had no bad flare ups in awhile.  Knock on wood! 

We ARE having a big family Thanksgiving dinner over here.  We’re having dinner with our extended family of friends.  There’s going to be a lot of people!  I’m bringing my dish – the HBN Potato Casserole.  For the unenlightened – thats the Honorable Benjamin Nelson’s Potato Casserole.  I’ve been making it for about 6 years now.  Like most guys, I used to just show up at family dinners on holidays with nothing but a smile, eat up, and watch football.  One year before Thanksgiving while in Myrtle Beach, I decided to try and participate in the cooking process.  I googled “Potato Casserole” and got a recipe from Benjamin Nelson – a senator from Nebraska.  Turns out the dish is easy to make, taste great and everyone likes it.  So now I make it every year for holiday dinners, etc.  Here’s the recipe if you’re interested…

HBN Potato Casserole

 

Ingredients

2 pounds frozen hash brown potatoes

1/2 cup melted butter

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/2 cup onion, chopped

1/2 cup cream of potato soup OR cream of chicken soup

1 pint sour cream with chives

2 cups grated cheddar cheese

1/2 cup celery, chopped

Toppings

2 cups crushed potato chips

1/2 cup melted butter

Defrost potatoes. Combine melted butter, salt, pepper, soup and sour cream. Mix hash browns with onion, celery and cheese. Mix in soup mixture. Pour into a greased 9 x 12-inch casserole dish.

For Topping: Mix butter and chips. Sprinkle on top of casserole. Bake 45 minutes at 350 degrees. This dish can be frozen and heated before serving.  Serves 16.

We had a hectic day yesterday.  Getting mine and Logan’s residence visa is a pain.  I’m sure its a pain for foreigners in any country though.  You have to do all kinds of rigamarole here though.  You have to go back and forth to different places, paying fees everywhere you go, get things translated in arabic, get a health check up, etc.  To top it off, Alanna’s contract says they were going to handle it for us.  Well we’ve had to do everything AND pay for most of it.  They said they would remburse for some stuff.  I won’t hold my breath.  Well we were lazy and didn’t get things done on time, so yesterday that wanted us to pay some crazy late fees.  Its all just annoyingly stupid.

Logan is doing great, as always.  He’s eating baby food every day now.  You know, the stuff that looks like vomit in a jar.  He seems to like it though.  What a mess.  I’ll spoon feed it to him and he’ll immediately stick his fingers in his mouth, get some baby food and then smear it on stuff.  At this point, its kind of cute so I deal with it.  He’s also taking naps in his crib.  In fact, he’s napping in his crib right now so please keep it down.

Alanna’s big break is next week, so we’re heading to Dubai.  Not sure exactly what we’re gonna do, but we’ll figure it out.  She also gets a two week break at the end of January.  We thought about a cruise, but its just hard to do with a baby.  We may be going to Rome for a week though.  So that we’ll be a blast!  It wasn’t built in a day you know.

MagicJack – if you don’t have it, get one.  MagicJack is this neat little device that plugs into your usb port.  Once your register it, you can have a free US number.  You pick the area code, and even the whole number if you pay like $10 or something.  With MagicJack, you can make FREE local and long distance calls.  You can use the mic in your computer or plug a phone into it.  It REALLY helps over here in the middle east.  I have a “charlotte number”, and can call everyone in the states from it for free.  They can also call me (if I have it running on my computer at the time), or they can always leave a free voicemail.  The whole thing cost $20 or so.  You can pick it up at CVS, RiteAid,etc.  Great deal, saves a ton of phone charge money.

OK, enjoy your holiday!   

Pics…

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a video of Logan’s first Halloween!

Well well well. What a difference High Speed Internet makes. I really don’t know how anyone lives without it. I do remember the days when I had a tiny little modem that made an awful noise when it dialed and connected, but I wouldn’t call that “old school” or anything. Progress is good. So we’re all “connected” now and have normal high speed internet, so this post should (cross your fingers) have more pictures!

We’re settling in nicely here in the little oasis that is Al Ain. Alanna’s work is slowly getting better and better. She doesn’t come home mad every day now, so again, progess is good. I love spending my days with Logan. He’s actually fallen into a wonderful routine. We get up usually between 9 and 10am, and play in the bed for 30 minutes. Then its an hour or 2 of the Disney Channel. His favorites are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Winnie the Pooh. On a side note, I’m glad my child is learning about Mickey, Donald and Goofy. I think kids have forgotten these guys! Anyhoo, after TV time its lunch time. Logan now happily drinks a full 7oz bottle (exactly what he should be drinking for his age) of formula around 11:30am. After that, his belly is full and he’s sleepy. He takes a nap, usually in my arms, for about an hour until 12:30, sometimes all the way until 1pm. We then play or watch TV or just have conversations in baby talk until 2pm. Then Mommy comes home! He’s generally a very happy baby and I love that his routine stays mainly the same.

The week that was, was good. I’ll be telling you some stuff that my wife put in her blog, so if you’ve read that already, just pretend you didn’t and enjoy mine!

We did indeed go to a church. Like Alanna said, it was a little room, an L shaped room where if you sat in the back side, you really couldn’t see people in the front to the right. They sang praise and worship songs that were “sort of” like what we sing back at home. It was all very rustic, but those people really do love God and its neat to see that smack dab in the middle of the Muslim world. We were going to go back this week but…

… We spent the night in a hotel on top of Jabel Hafeet! Alanna absolutely LOVES to stay in hotels, so we got a good deal and stayed in a beautiful place on top of the highest mountain in the UAE. The views were great; we played mini-golf and met up with some friends for good times! It was a nice way to relax. We had a “slight” mishap on the way back from the hotel the next morning. There are some enormous sand dunes on the way back from the hotel. We’ve wanted to stop and take pictures on them, but just haven’t done it yet. So this time we stopped. We get off the road, go about 1000 yards and the payment ends and turns into a sand road. The sand road, to my poor eyesight, just looked like a dirt road. I thought I could just drive right over it. About the time Alanna says, “I don’t think the car will go through that”, I felt all four of the tires get stuck in the sand. I tried a few snow spinning techniques to get the car out, but it only made matters worse. We called the Police and Roadside Assistance, neither of which seemed like they would be able to help. Well little Logan was going to get fussy sooner or later in the desert so I got out and hiked back up to the main road. God was obviously watching out for me because as soon as I got to the main road, a really nice Emirati in an SUV turned down my road. He spoke perfect English and was more than happy to pull us out of the sand. He even had a handy rope chain to hook to both vehicles. He had us out in 2 minutes flat. Moral of the story – When you see sand, stop the car, get out and walk.

I also got paid by the House of the Arts last week. Math is NOT my strong point, that’s for sure. I got paid double what I thought I was getting paid. I just didn’t add it right. Alanna is letting me use my paychecks to just… do stuff… mostly, since her paycheck pretty much pays for everything. So I went out a bought us a 42” Plasma HDTV. We really did need something bigger to go in the living room, and prices over here are about 25% cheaper than what they are in the States. So I got a really good deal on an ok TV. It of course wouldn’t fit in our tiny rental car so they’ll be delivering it tomorrow night. I also bought a cheap DVD player and a TV stand so we’ll be all set once the TV gets here. Hey, I’ll finally get to watch my 4 hour wedding video that I’ve wanted to see!

We had dinner with friends (Alma, Lori, Ruth, the gang) on Friday night. It was a fun time. We were going to play Monopoly but we talked too long and it was too late to start by the time we got around to it.

We started me and Logan’s residency process today. It takes a little wheeling and dealing, a lot of money, and then I have to do a medical check (Logan doesn’t have to, thankfully) and then we get our visas. So no more border runs soon!

Ok, that’s enough for me. I have to go check my fantasy football score. And the Redskins have been scored on twice since I began this blog. But at least the YANKEES ARE WORLD SERIES CHAMPS.

It is almost the end of October here in the UAE. While the temps are still hot during the day, the weather feels GREAT at night. Not too hot, not too cold. Wonderfuly pleasant one might say.

We finally invited some friends over to our place on Thursday for Game Night. We all made Mexican food (well I bought some chips and salsa) and sat around talking and playing board games. I love board games, and good conversations, so the night was a big success. Hopefully we can bounce around to different people’s places and do this one a week, or as often as possible.

Our apartment is also finally in working order. The guys eventually came to fix the lights one day, and then a few days later they got the A/C running in the living room. So now, for better or for worse, we have a live able apartment. We do need some rugs and stuff to hang on the walls to spice the place up a bit though.

Being somewhat involved in the entertainment business (my job at House of the Arts) still has its benefits. When I went in to teach last Wednesday, they gave me two tickets to see the New York Philharmonic Orchestra which was playing in townon Saturday. We wanted to go anyway, but the tickets were really expensive. So I told Alanna the good news, we lined up a babysitter (the lovely Alma Joy), got all dressed up, and headed out on Saturday night. The orchestra was playing inside Al Jahli fort, which is a 100 year old fort on the east side of Al Ain. It was very important back in the day as it was a defensive position to guard trade routes and protect the natural oasis. I have taken many pictures of it, but never went inside. So we got there and there were a ton of people, mostly expats. Many were dressed to the nines in tuxedos! Our dress choices put us somewhere in the middle, which was perfectly acceptable. We passed through the giant wooden gate doors and were led to our seats. We are in the middle section about 20 yards from the stage they had set up. The inside of the fort has no top, of course, so you could see the moon and stars. Such a great view! The orchestra started at 8pm and from the first note I was amazed. It literally sounded like something that you listen to on the most expensive and technically advanced stereo system you can buy. They played Brahms’ Violin Concerto, and then Beethoven’s 7th Symphony. I figured going in I would like the Beethoven piece more, but the guy who played the solo violin parts on the Brahms’ piece was so amazing. That dude has more talent in the tip of his pinky finger than I could ever hope to have in my whole body. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and a lovely date with my wife!

Some guys from Brazil moved into our old apartment complex in Al Ain after we left. Turns out, these guys were brought over by the UAE government to teach Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to high school students. I also heard through the grapevine (Alma Joy is buddy buddy with one of the guys) that they would be offering an adult class to anyone who wanted to come out. Now I’ve always wanted to “try” something like this. I am a avid fan of Mixed Martial Arts and enjoy watching the UFC whenever I get the chance. For the uneducated, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a martial art that involves taking your opponent to the ground and getting him to submit (tap out) by applying different holds to various parts of the body. You can choke a guy out, you can put him in an arm bar, a leg lock, an angle, and many other nasty holds. If done correctly, either you tap out or you’ll either a) be choked out or b) have something dislocated or broken. Yes, sounds very unpleasant but its something I’ve wanted to experience. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not the type of guy who watches that stuff on TV and thinks, “Oh, I can do that. I can kick some butt!” Oh no, that’s not me. I am usually the guy who turns the other cheek. But again, I wanted to at least give it a shot. So they let you attend some classes for free to see if you like it. Tonight, was the first class. I went with Alma and Lynea, two of Alanna’s teacher buddies. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought it would be more like a self defense class where we’d sit in a little circle, some guy would ask for volunteers and he’d show us some moves. Well… I was wrong. We walked into the gym and there were about 30 guys already there, most of them dressed in those karate type outfits. I was in a t-shirt and sweatpants. There was a good mixture of Brazilians, Expats, and a few Emirates. It was a little intimidating. Of the 30 guys, 10 of them were over 6’3” and were built of pure muscle. The other guys were all about my size, but ripped. There were a few out of shape guys like me, then one really out of shape guy who didn’t make it through the whole night. So I sat down in a chair with the girls because, well, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. A few minutes pass by, and then some giant Brazilian man walks up to me and asks, “Would you like to train?” Of course I say yes. So I take off my shoes and socks and then move to the large mat, which comfortably fit all 30 of us. I bowed as a stepped on the mat, as I saw guys doing this every time they entered and exited the mat. We got in a few lines, 4 or 5 leader guys up front looking at us. We all bowed, then got into a big circle and starting running around the edge of the mat. I expected some type of short cardio warm-up, so this didn’t surprise me. Even though I haven’t done much cardio in awhile, I can usually hold my own with basic exercise. So we ran, did some high knee lift running, then some running where you slapped you hands with your feet from behind, then we bounced around on both feet. Next, we continued the running, but after each lap, we would drop down and do 10 quick push-ups. At this point I was starting to build up some perspiration. Next, as we got to each side of the mat, we were told to do various things – sliding knee lunges across the mat, front rolls across the mat, back rolls across the mat, even this weird thing where we laid (lied? Lay?) down on our back and shifted our weight from side to side, scooting across the mat. I managed to do this stuff and not look like a complete moron. The only thing I noticed was that when you’re barefoot on a wrestling type mat, you quickly begin to get rug burns on your feet and knees, when you slide them across. And by rug burns, and mean the skin was peeling off my toes. After that, we continued to run around in circles, but then were asked to partner up with someone. I picked a guy beside me, a very nice Brazilian guy who spoke little English, but seemed to know exactly what was going on. I later estimated he could have killed me with his pinky. I’m not making that up. So yeah, we partner up while we were running in the circle. We were instructed to turn and face our partner, then pick him up, sort of like a fireman’s carry on the shoulder, except you just pick him straight up from his knees and lift, no putting him on your shoulder. You pick him up, walk a few steps, then put him down. You repeat the whole process a bagillion times around the circle, then switch and the guy picks you up. Thankfully the guy was about my weight so he wasn’t too difficult to pick up each time. Well that ended the warm-up, some 45 minutes later. I was sweaty, tired, but in good spirits. Next, we partnered up again (got with the same guy, don’t remember his name though) and were shown some various ground moves by the head guy (who I later found out was a black belt in the art form). He would explain the move, then we would practice for two minutes. By practice, I mean you had to do the move over and over again as quickly as possible – so the cardio never really ended. We did some easy moves first – basically moving back and forth over our opponent to establish a half or full guard, then under them to try and get out of the guard. One was a pretty complicated series of about 10 different moves until you have the guy trapped like a pretzel and you can flip him over, then use his own weight to pull you on top to be in full guard. Memorizing the different moves was a little complicated, but I got it right a few times. The guy I was with was very helpful and polite, and very patient with me being a complete newb. We did a few more moves, but the instructor saved the best move of the night for last. It was a rolling arm bar thing-a-ma-bobber. Basically, you start off on your back, the guy on top of you, then pull the guy’s arm across your chest to pin it between you and him, scoot your hips to the side, sling one leg over the back and his head, push him down and flip him over with that leg, while trapping his arm between your legs as you lie flat on your back. From this position, the slightest pressure you put on a guy’s elbow can be extremely painful. It doesn’t take much for someone to tap out in that position. Well, it didn’t take much for me to tap out anyway. Maybe I’m a wimp, but that move really hurts when done correctly. By this time of the night, 1 ½ hours in, I and plum tuckered out. But we’re not done yet. For the next 30 minutes, the last 30 minutes thank God, we were partnered with different guys and told to… “go at it” for 5 minute sparring sessions. This is where I got a little worried. I sat at the first 5 minutes to just watch. Some of the guys we’re really intense, rolling around on the floor, doing crazy stuff, choking, arm barring, leg holds, etc. This was business time. No playing around. Some guy grabbed me after the first session and wanted me to have a go. He matched me up with another expat about my size. The guy was nice, but pretty much OWNED ME for 5 minutes. He stopped here and there to show me a few things, some type of wrist lock that hurt REALLY bad, and a few other things. The rest of the time he threw me around like a ragdoll. I just tried to play defense and not have him hurt me too bad. He put me in a few choke holds where he basically was choking me out with my own arm. I quickly tapped out each time as soon as I felt hopeless. At the end of the 5 minutes, I was completely drained, but immediately was paired up with someone else – this time with a really nice, polite Brazilian dude. This guy had more muscles than Arnold. He wasn’t big or anything, just ripped all over with no body fat. This guy also didn’t speak a lick of English. One of the instructors came over and told ME to take it easy on HIM. I laughed, though on inside I cried like a baby. This guy was all business once we started. He was so quick and strong. He pinned me to the ground, and just the way he positioned his chest on top of mine made me not able to breathe. He put me in a rear naked choke three different times. The first two times, I tapped as soon as he got it clamped down. But the third time I thought I’d be brave. He “got my back” and applied the choke, but I was able to work my hand between my neck and his arm (and by able to, I mean I am 100% sure he let me) and struggle with him for two minutes. Finally, I tired out and he locked in the hold. But I didn’t tap. No no, stupid Rob tried to hold on for awhile. And that’s when I started seeing stars and things started to go black. Yeah, I was about 3 seconds away from completely passing out. So I quickly tapped his arm and he let go of the hold. Immediately though all the blood came back to my head and I was fine. He continued to torment me the rest of the time, using that rolling arm bar on me to make me tap quickly. After 30 minutes with various partners, we stopped, lined up, bowed to the instructors, then went around bowing to each other and shaking hands. I was very glad it was over. I was soaked in sweat, was dead tired, and there wasn’t a spot on my body that didn’t hurt. I also had rug burns on my feet, knees and knuckles. I had plenty of respect for the guys before I even stepped in the door, but now I have even MORE respect. All of them were very polite and professional. There was no macho crap like you see when you watch the UFC. It is an amazing art that I would have been OK at – 15 years ago. I just don’t think my body can’t take that kind of punishment week end and week out. It was a very neat learning experience though. Now I’m sitting at home, popping the pain pills and aching all over. I know tomorrow morning I will barely be able to get out of bed. To sum things up, I spent two hours of my night getting taken behind the woodshed. They stomped a mudhole in me and walked it dry. These guys were the real deal indeed. I can confidently take Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu off the bucket list.