I’ve been running all over hell’s half acre this past week. While my E-Bike has made it very convenient to get back and forth to work each day, it can be difficult at times because it still works like… a bike.What I mean by that is, you can easily get a flat tire. Or slam into a pothole. Or bend the entire rim of your rear wheel frame.
Early last week I was riding around doing some HR work for campus.Let’s just say the hiring process has been quite the nightmare. It caused me to first miss flying with my family to China, and then wait an extra few weeks just to get there. I don’t think this is a “China” thing; I’m pretty sure its just a “my work” thing.There are a lot of hoops that you have to jump through to be hired in a foreign country, with work permit and visa requirements; then there’s the general onboarding process at your job that you’re probably familiar with as well.
So, going into month here in the PRC, I still haven’t completed my onboarding.Last week I needed to pick up a document from my building, and then take it to the HR building, which if you walk, is 30 minutes away. Taking the E-Bike, made it easier, until I ran over a nail on the way there. I doubt this is uncommon. Things happen, right?Thankfully the leak was a slow one, so I was able to ride to the HR building, then back to my building with no problem at all.I also had an air pump with me just in case something like this happened.
I needed to get the tire patched or replaced though. I can’t just be riding around on a leaky tire all the time. After checking with my colleagues, it turns out there is a bike repair shop on campus.Well, OF COURSE there is a bike repair shop on campus. You can basically throw a stone somewhere in China and it will land where there is something you need.Now FINDING the shop is a totally different story.Google, the global giant of the internet, is all but banned in China.While you can get around this issue at times with a VPN, using Google maps is a different story. You can get the maps app to work, but it’s not very accurate.The regular street view doesn’t overlap correctly with the satellite view. And forget typing in an address and getting what you want. That ain’t happening here, folks.
Thankfully, there’s Baidu – China’s version of Google.Yes, it’s a search engine and has all the other bells and whistles, including a map feature. Unfortunately, its all in Chinese.I downloaded the Baidu Map App to my phone and have been working on trying to figure it out.Thankfully it connects seamlessly with WeChat, and people can just drop a pin from chat and boom there’s a location on your map. One of my colleagues dropped a pin for the bike shop into my map app, and I was on my way. While I had no clue what the nice Chinese lady’s voice was saying for directions, the visual was more than enough to get me where I needed to go.
This was a very busy bike shop.People with bicycles, e-bikes and scooters were coming and going nonstop. I did some translating with my phone and they were able to understand I needed my back tired fixed. After throwing muddy water all over the tire, the seasoned bike repairman found the leak and plugged it… with, I kid you not, what looked like a rusty nail. Obviously, I was dubious about this patch job, but he assured me with nodding and a few thumbs up that all was well. The repair also cost about $2 in USD, so I can’t really complain.All seemed well with my bike so I hopped on and went on my way, thinking I should probably order a new tire online when I got the chance.
End of story? Nope, not in my world!I had a training session that lasted until after dark one night a few days later. Now… my wife, the smart one, has told me numerous times I shouldn’t ride my bike at night, at least not to and from work.It is hard to see, there’s construction everywhere, and I’m a careless E-Bike rider to boot. Long story short, I left work that night and slammed into a pothole.I mean a DEEP pothole.I blew the rear tire and bent the rear wheel frame. I was still a good 45 minute walk from home.I couldn’t ride the bike “bicycle style” because of the bent frame.My only option was to park it… behind some trees near the road, leave it unattended, and then call for a ride.Oh wait… I left my cell phone at home that day.I’m definitely not the smart one in the family.The bus station wasn’t too far away, so I began to hoof it in that direction.A green taxi honked his horn at me a few minutes later, so I hopped in his car and was able to say in Chinese where I live.It’s literally one of a handful of Chinese phrases I can say. He got me home and after a mild scolding from my better half, I went to bed dreaming of how to solve my bike issue the next day.
I took an Uberish car the next morning, and worked out a plan to… have a truck come pick up my bike, have a car come get me at work and take me to the truck that was picking up my bike, then ride in the (very dirty, smelly, nasty) truck to a bike repair shop near where I live.That all worked out fine, I got the bike fixed – a new tire and repairing the frame cost $20. Now I’m back on the road ridin’ dirty and trying not to bike to/from work at night anymore.
Ok, bike stories aside for now. Let’s talk about food.I love it. I’m by no means a foodie though. I’ve lived in some awesome places – Chicago Suburbs, right outside of NYC, The South, Ecuador, The Middle East, so I’ve had the unique opportunity to sample a smorgasbord of foods from all around the globe. I knew China was going to be another wonderful eating adventure and so far it has not disappointed me. If you follow my adventures on Facebook or Instagram, you’ve already seen me posting about the many odd (by U.S. standards) varieties of Lays potato chips I’ve procured and consumed.
While I’m on a pretty strict diet, I will sample pretty much anything that’s offered just to say I’ve tried it.That happened last Friday. Some co-workers ordered food for delivery during lunch and had me sample one of their dishes. The dish in particular was Xiaolongbao.
Xiaolongbao
When you say it, it sounds like “Shau Long Bowel.” To be honest, I’m still not quite sure what xiaolongbao is or isn’t, but what I had on Friday was Chinese Soup Dumplings.Basically, it’s a Chinese style dumpling, but inside of dumpling is soup, usually mixed with pork, or some other beef/chicken stock.
Let me just say – I plopped one of these delectable suckers in my mouth and I was in food heaven. The soup just bursts in your mouth and the combination with the dumpling taste is simply amazing.My co-workers tried to tell me to eat it by pinching a hole in the dumpling with your chopsticks, letting the soup drain into a spoon, then eat the dumpling and drink the soup.That sounded like a lot of extra steps, right? Why not just plop they whole thing in your mouth?They are meant to be a snacking food, they are bitesize, so that’s what did.
Of course, I wanted to go home and tell my wife all about xiaolongbao.I even told her I would go out into town that evening and pick up some. I failed. Miserably. I’d go up to different dumpling type places and ask for “Shau Long Bowel”.They’d shake their head no, look confused, or just laugh at me. I would then show them the Chinese characters for xiaolongbao on my phone.They would then say, “Ohhh… Shau Long Bowel”, saying it THE EXACT SAME WAY I SAID IT. Clearly, I suck at Chinese at this point in my adventures. In any case, I found no xiaolongbao that night, nor the next day when we ate dinner out.We had some kind of dumplings, which tasted great, but weren’t soup
dumplings.
Waiting on my dang soup dumplings.
Finished off the dumplings even though they had NO SOUP FOR YOU.
I dragged the wife and kids through town yesterday morning looking for this mysterious xiaolongbao, and thought we’d finally found some, only to find there was corn inside that dumpling, not soup. Again, the corn version tasted great, but its not what I was after. Final step yesterday – I went to the store and purchased the frozen kind of dumplings to make them myself. The picture on the bag even had a spoon under the dumpling with soup in it. So, I “steamed” them at home (a very cool cooking process btw) and, once again, they tasted lovely but weren’t the SOUP DUMPLING.
Do you have Xialongbao? No? Okay.
The corn dumpling place.
Steaming the wrong dumplings at home.
Final plan – I will make my co-workers order the exact same xiaolongbao they ordered on Friday at the end of the workday, then bring them home to let Alanna have a taste. She better fall in love with them or I will xiaolongbao her in the face, whatever that’s supposed to mean.
Edit – Xiaolongbao order successful! I took them home, fed them to the wifey, and now we’re in a food coma. Have a good week.
Possum on a gum bush! It gets really hot here. You know the saying – “Its not the heat, it’s the humidity”? Well that’s the dang truth here in China. Seriously, just a quick jaunt down the block to the store and we’re soaking wet with perspiration. I suppose it counts as a workout though so I am not complaining. Thankfully we don’t have to walk around the hood as much anymore because I have an e-bike. Oh, and a scooter. Well, one and a half scooters, because one of them doesn’t fully work – yet. Ok, let’s tackle the e-bike first. In China, E-Bikes or Electronic Bikes are everywhere. If you’re confused on what I’m talking about – here is an example of mine –
My E-Bike is kind of like a scooter, but also a bicycle. I use the term bicycle loosely, as pedaling it is basically a last resort and not an easy task. It has a top speed of about 18 mph and can get me about 15 miles or so before I need to charge it. You may be asking, “Rob, how do I get one of these E-Bikes?” Well, I’ll tell you. Last week (or was it the week before?) I talked about all those crazy websites you can order stuff from here in China. Well that’s what I did. After some creative searching, I found the E-Bike I was looking for. Best thing about this thing – dirt cheap. On Amazon in the states, E-Bikes can easily cost around $1000 bucks. Here in China? Less than $200. I have no idea if they are good quality or not, but mine seems to support all of me just fine and doesn’t feel like it’s about to fall apart or is cheaply made. This is a work purchase though, not just some fun gadget!
Alanna has free transportation to her job. I, on the other hand, was left to fend for my own. I had options – ride the over-crowded bus, get a cheap taxi, or a private “Uber” like car to take me to and from work every day. I didn’t like any of those ideas as they involved me paying money to someone every day and also relying on them to be on time and ready to go. So I went with the other option – get an E-Bike. The good news again – they are dirt cheap. The bad news? They are technically illegal. You aren’t supposed to be driving them on the roads but everyone and their mother does, so why not me? Most people say that the authorities don’t really enforce this law, so I’m taking my chances. The worst they will probably do is just take it away from me. But I pass by police all the time on the thing and they haven’t even batted an eye at me so far. So yeah, I’m Ridin’ Dirty in China.
They see me rollin’
They hatin’
Patrolling and tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
Yes, I know riding dirty actually means having illegal drugs and paraphernalia in your vehicle. No, I don’t have drugs in my vehicle. The bike took a bit of getting use to – as it is NOT great going fast over neighborhood speed bumps.
Bad parenting moment – my daughter flew off the back of my E-Bike the first time I took a speed bump at full speed.
She’s fine, don’t worry! But now I know how to handle a speed bump and will be getting a little kid seat to strap her in better behind me. Did I mention we have scooters too? Like, electric scooters, not unlike the ones you can rent and drive around in the cities. You know, these things –
Did I mention the scooters were free of charge? A bad break up is my gain. No, not me and Alanna. Calm down. A co-worker of mine had enough of her man, so they parted ways. He left quite a few things behind. She was nice and waited and waited for him to claim the items he left, but alas, he did not. So she offered them to me! Two scooters – one that works perfectly fine and the other, that needs a little engine/motherboard repair I think. There is a shop in town that will fix it for me for cheap, but I’m in no rush. While these things aren’t as practical as the e-bike for longer trips, they are really good for zooming around our local area. Even Alanna has ridden one! And that’s saying a LOT. Top speed on ours is about 15 mph. I haven’t tested how long the battery lasts because we don’t go long distance with the scooter and it gets plugged in when you get home. But it is a nice addition. So, in summary, now I’m riding e-bikes and scooters in China. Oh, one more thing of note from that break up – ranch dressing. China doesn’t do ranch dressing. I know, I know, how could I move here? Well the ex-boyfriend left behind some bottles, one even unopened. And now they are mine. Ok, now that I’ve bored you to death with stories of e-bikes and ranch, here is the week that was. Last week was a short work week for us as the weekend was the Mid-Autumn Festival. So we had Friday off, giving us a three day weekend. The holiday is kind of like Thanksgiving in that it is meant to be a celebration of a successful harvest and a time to spend with family eating together. They serve a special pastry during this time called Mooncakes.
You may have already heard of it. I had not. Mooncakes are a Chinese pastry that can be filled with all kinds of interesting things. Yes, you can have some filled with normal ingredients like chocolate or pineapple, but many of them are also filled with stuff like corn, green pea paste, red bean paste, lotus seeds, various other fruits and vegetables, pork, seafood, cheese, green tea and ice cream. Because they are a holiday treat, they are quite a bit more expensive than your regular run of the mill pastry. Be that as it may, and because last week there was a teacher appreciation day, both Alanna and I received a box of various flavors of mooncakes. I’m pretty sure I tried ones with corn, green peas, pineapple and red beans. While I found some of them to be mostly edible, many of them were not very tasty at all (I’m looking at you Green Pea Mooncake)! But hey, when in China. This past Friday was not only a national holiday, but also my birthday. Which was also Friday the 13th. I’ve never gotten bent out of shape when my day of birth falls on the unluckiest (especially at Crystal Lake) of days. Although – my 21st birthday – was on Friday the 13th – and Tupac died that day. He’s still alive though – on an island with Elvis and JFK.
Speaking of JFK, have you read Stephen King’s 11/22/63? If not, you should.
Don’t worry, its not King’s typical scary stuff if that’s not you cup of tea. Where was I? Oh yes, my birthday. My wife works on an island. Yes, you read that right. How cool is that? It’s a literal island. There is a bridge that connects it to the mainland so no boat is required. We hadn’t had the chance to really explore her island, so we decided to take on a little bit of it for my birthday. First stop? A go-kart track. I heard about this spot through the grapevine and, if you know me, I’ll do anything once. We took a ride over the bridge early Friday morning and soon pulled up at the track. It looked… closed? Abandoned? A scene from the Walking Dead?
Some dude walking by told our driver that it was indeed open, so we headed up the steps and followed the signs. No one was there, other than a handful of employees and us. Granted, it was morning and they had just opened up but still, I’m not sure how this place stays in business. We found a ticket window and a price list. The karts came in two different varieties – 100cc and 150cc. I know nothing about cc, other than my time spent playing Mario Kart. The only thing I know is that 150cc is more powerful and faster than 100cc so that’s what I chose. Good news – the 150cc kart requirement means you have to wear a racing suit, racing mask, a helmet and gloves.
Pretty cool , right? The bad news – the 150cc kart requirement means you have to wear a racing suit, racing mask, yadda, yadda yadda… it was really hot in that thing. Once suited up, they took me out to the track and put me in a kart, which didn’t fit. No, this is not a fat joke. It’s a height joke. I was too tall. My knees were in the way when I tried to turn the wheel. I got a deeper kart and I was all set to go. Alanna? Nope, she wasn’t having it. She would have tried it if I really wanted her to, but it’s not really her thing. So I didn’t make her try it, in hopes she won’t make me try some dumb romantic comedy down the road. Abby was too short. (They had a pencil mark on a wall. You had to be above that.) Logan was tall enough but had no desire to almost kill himself on a track with absolutely zero safety regulations. He’s obviously the smartest one in the family.
The ride though was a blast. I got to speed around the track for 10 minutes, all alone, doing whatever the heck I wanted. The kart was surprisingly very fast and responsive. The track was a typical road course with all kinds of crazy turns, and like I said, no safety regulations. If you didn’t watch your speed or brake properly, you could easily sail off the course and into a tree. But I used my best Mario Kart skills and did just fine.
The kart would actually drift in some turns and would really pick up quite a lot of speed in the straightaways. All in all, it was a blast and I’m so glad I got to do something high energy on my birthday. I also lost 10 lbs in that racing suit. Our next stop was a bicycle cart rental place. And when I mean bicycle cart I mean this –
Alanna and I did all the pedaling, as Abby was too short to reach the pedals and Logan’s feet didn’t touch them enough to actually do anything useful. We pedaled away from kart track and headed into the small historical town on the island. And you may have guessed – four white people + a kart bicycle thing = unrelenting stares from the local population. I think we’re sort of getting used to it, but I don’t think it will ever be something we don’t notice happening. The town was very old school China, with stone walls, merchants selling stuff everywhere, and even a Buddhist temple.
Alanna and I bought bananas for the kids and a coconut for ourselves, cause it was the tourist thing to do. The merchant chopped, carved and drilled a hole (with an actual electric drill) in our coconut and provided us with two straws. Yes, we got the picture of us drinking it, but it tasted like luke warm sour milk, so let’s just say we didn’t finish the thing once we were far out of the merchant’s sight.
We finished our island trip with a stop at a beach. Umm… bad idea. This beach here was… err… nasty. I am 99.9% sure that the stream of “water” coming out of the wall and spilling into ocean was raw sewage. The smell and the chunks (sorry TMI) gave it away. The kids went further down the beach and stuck their feet in the water. I did not, because you know, Ebola. The beach was also pretty littered with trash. To be fair, it’s not the ocean at this spot – its really a large sea that is mostly used for fishing. So no big waves or crystal clear water – mostly just trash and poop. Later on that Friday evening, we took a trip down south to a place called the London Longue. We were hoping for some good international food. Translation – burgers, fries, stuff the kids would like. While the place had a nice atmosphere, and did have mostly non-Chinese menu choices, it was clear the food was “from” China. It tasted fine, but unfortunately didn’t taste any different than the selections we could get anywhere else. Not a bad place and I would still give it a good Google review, but it wasn’t the taste from home we were hoping for. One huge bright spot – we found out my amazing and challenging ten year old son can add mozzarella sticks to the short list of five or six things he’ll actually eat in life. Speaking of a taste from home – Saturday night one of my co-workers hosted a Taco night. Now this tasted like home. Not that my home is Mexico, but you get the idea. It was potluck, so I made some kind of Mexican rice… thing… which turned out alright. We had tacos, bean dip, guacamole and I wore my Adios Pantalones t-shirt to fit the theme of the evening. I got to introduce my wife to my colleagues and eat tacos. Good times! Ok, picture dump to follow, but for now…
More random Pics!
This Chinese kid wanted me to take a selfie with him.
Another week has flown right by here in the PRC – that’s the People’s Republic of China for the uninitiated. I started my new job and the kiddos started school, so we’re all off in different directions. On top of work, I’m still in the middle of the visa/work permit process, which seems to be the most difficult of all the countries we’ve lived. They need all kinds of documents – birth certificates, passports, diplomas, last will and testament, a library card, my 3rd grade journal assignment, and a partridge in a pear tree. Obviously, I’m joking about some of those, but China does indeed require quite a lot of information to set up a residence visa.
Last week was the police station and the medical check, this week it was visiting government buildings with documents in tow. Speaking of the medical check – I got a little book, not unlike a passport that has my medical results in them. Most of all the categories resulted in a “No abnormal findings” verdict, but the Chinese doctors were concerned on two accounts – my ears and my kidneys. The findings showed I had impacted cerumen in my ears. I have earwax. Ok. Next, they said, and I’m quoting, “The left kidney stones”, which I assume means they found kidney stones on the left side. I’d had them once before, WAY back in 1997, but that was accompanied by some major discomfort, and so far… I feel fine here. Maybe the Chinese are confused about my stones. I dunno, and I’m not really concerned.
Medical Report
We’re slowly settling into the Chinese way of life. In many ways, the country has such a traditional, ancient value system, but in other ways they are beyond what one would be used to in the states. Technology, for example, is everywhere here and central to all that you do. The most popular App in China is WeChat. This app is Facebook, Messenger, Video chat, Twitter, Instagram, News and everything else all rolled into one. Everyone has it. You use WeChat to pay for things – every… thing. You link a bank card to the app, and then scan a QR code in places to make a payment. While this is something that some people do in the States, it’s the norm here. Some places only take payments from WeChat. It does make things easier and faster. You can also send money directly to people through the app as well.
Another interesting tidbit about China – the delivery system in general. There is no Amazon here, but there is Taobao, or Baopao, or JD.com or TMall. Think Amazon, but on crack. Crack cocaine. You can pretty much order any and everything you need (or don’t need) through these Amazon-like websites. Some crazy stuff too. Try this – Go to Baopals.com, if it will let you. Find the CCC section up top. That’s Cool, Cheap, Crazy. The Crazy section can be very NSFW. Shipping items can be one day or a couple, and they will drop stuff off at your door in the middle of the night. China never stops working. More on that later too. Alanna ordered an item from an actual person selling something. This was around 8:00pm at night. The woman who sold the item to Alanna told her she would have a “shipping service” bring her purchase to her… that night. So get this – you can find a service, at 8:00pm, to come to your house, pick up something you’re selling and then they’ll bring that item to the people who are buying it from you. Like, that night. An hour later. And it is dirt cheap to do it. China never sleeps. Same with construction here. There is construction everywhere. But the projects get finished so quickly! One day there is the massive road construction going on, the next day, boom, done. It’s because they always have people working – morning, noon and night. When one shift leaves, another one comes in. And then there are weekend shifts too. So a project is always being worked on, and finishes up quickly because of it.
I hope my southeast coast friends are staying safe as Hurricane Dorian draws near. Its much more difficult to keep up with anything going on over there, but I’ve seen 100 memes about that storm. Here in China, I’ve got one Typhoonish storm passing through right now, and a larger one heading in our direction at week’s end. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you guys if you’ll extend the same courtesy to me!
Two Typhoons heading to China.
And now, random goings on in no particular order:
Logan lost two teeth in one day, then another one the following day. The Chinese Tooth Fairy worked overtime this week. Abby also has her first loose tooth, but it may be awhile before that one comes out.
I ordered an Electric Bike. Think of a cross between a bicycle and a scooter. More on that when it arrives.
Yes, I did indeed try Grilled Eel flavored Lay’s Potato Chips. There are more weird flavors as well. I plan on trying to eat as many weird unusual things as I possibly can, all while trying to maintain some sort of diet.
I was almost late to work one morning this week. I took the bus, cause I’m trying to adapt to the culture or something like that. When the bus pulled out in the morning, it was about 99% full. Then 10 people got on. They were hanging out the doors. I chose to stay behind and wait on the next bus, which came 10 minutes later. It was only 98% full, so I was able to squeeze in while everyone stared at the bearded white man.
Daddy likes steak. So Abby likes steak. She wants some whenever I ate it. She had some at school the other day. It looked like steak, so Mommy told her it was steak. It was, in fact, duck, which is pretty common here. She was none the wiser so we ran with it.
All apartments are not equal. Ours is really nice, I’m not going to complain. But… you are at the mercy of what people leave behind for you who lived there previously. Ours was good. We have a comfy couch, beds, TVs, all the bells and whistles. One of our teacher couple friends? They got a piano and a massage chair. I’m just saying…
They have a nice gym at our complex, complete with all the bells and whistles. I joined the other day. Only problem? No AC. At all. And it’s close to 100 here and the humidity is off the chart. The Chinese must think Americans are sweaty pigs because that’s exactly what I look like after I finish a workout.
We visited an IKEA here. It’s pretty much the same as in the States, just more Chinese. The hotdogs are not as good I am saddened to report. The instructions on how to put that stuff together is still just as confusing.
The Staton family is finally all together and settled in China. I (Rob) had some… err…visa issues to get through, so Alanna and the kiddos had to go to China all by themselves for a few weeks. Well all, eventually, took the same route though: Drive to Nashville àFly To San Francisco àFly to Hong Kong à Take a Ferry to Mainland China. Let me just tell you, the flight from the US to Hong Kong was sooooo long. It was overnight thankfully, but still…long way over there.The flight took off and headed northwest towards Alaska, then west, west, west, more west, the southwest over Japan and then finally down towards China. I could have watched Avengers:Endgame 3 or 4 times on the flight. I did watch it once though.Well OK, I watched the final fight scene about 5 times.
Arriving in Hong Kong, we were a little worried for me because there had been protests at the airport all week long. On the day of my arrival though, all seemed pretty quiet. I was also in the international terminal area, on the other side of security, so I don’t think the protesters would have been close to where I was anyway. I did forget to charge my phone on the plane though, so it took me a bit and a good amount of Alanna freaking out over WhatsApp until I found the one USB port I could plug into while I waited on the ferry ticket window to open. Fast forward 4 hours later, I’ve got my ticket and I’m aboard a lovely ferry across the South China Sea. I was worried about going through customs in China, because I was the one with all the electronics in my bags.TSA had hassled me about all my stuff in San Fran, and I was sure China would be more strict with my bags. Turns out I was wrong. I got off the ferry, collected my bags, showed them my passport, then ran my 4 bags through the security scanner with no problem at all. They didn’t need to check anything and even helped me put the luggage back on my rolling cart.
My new employer arranged for a driver to pick me up and take me to our new place. He also stopped by a local cell phone store to get me quickly hooked up with a Chinese sim card. Rolling into my complex, I saw Alanna and Abby waiting for me outside.Logan, well, he was upstairs playing on his tablet, per his usual way of life. We’re on the 17thfloor which, yes, seems pretty high up, but our tower has 31 floors in it, so we ain’t as high as we could be. Our place has lovely AC in every room though.This is a coastal area, so it’s HOT here during the summer, with August being the hottest.
This first week has been mostly settling in and getting our work visa process continued along the path of completion. Part of getting the work permit is getting a health physical. Both Alanna and I had to go to a local clinic, hospital, doctor… place. It was multiple floors and they just run you through a series a rooms.First they checked my height weight and blood pressure. The next room was a blood test and a urine test. Eventually they did some type of physical where a doctor groped me for a bit. There was also an EKG, or ECG, I dunno, and then finally an ultrasound. Thankfully, there were no babies in my belly. I think I got a clean bill of health.
You also have to go register at the local police station. I, of course, screwed that up the first day. You have to bring a rental contract from your place of residence, which I didn’t have, because Alanna had it for her police check.So I had to get that from the better half, then go back the next day.All done there.
The kiddos start school on Monday, so I’ve been playing stay-at-home dad this week while Alanna works. We also have an Ayi, which is kind of like a maid, a chef, and a childcare provider all rolled into one. Her name is Lien Yi. No, I don’t really know how to say that. She’s very nice though.But she doesn’t speak a lick of English. Nor do any of us dumb Americans speak Chinese, so conversations can be very interesting to say the least. Nice, hard working lady. No complaints there. I’ll start work next week, but for now, we’re just spending our days trying to master the terrible internet and exploring outside. We’ve found a Burger King within a 5 minute walk, so our kids can eat not so healthy food like they are used to for now.
We visited our first mall last night. There was another Burger King and a KFC, but we decided to try some of the local fare. There are plenty of Chinese style restaurants, but we tried to pick something that would have dishes for the kiddos as well. The spot is called JasonVI.No, not Friday the 13th Part 6. It had a large menu with a ton of selections.Of course there wasn’t much for the kids, but we figured they might like the French toast and French fries.And… they hated them.The French toast was amazing though!Had peanut butter inside it!The adults got some chicken wings, lamb, some lovely dessert cake thing as well. We didn’t have any napkins though.We asked for them, and they brought us a few tiny ones in plastic bags. I looked around and noticed no one else was using napkins.Were we just dumb Americans and didn’t understand? My best guess – Chinese use chopsticks for everything, so their fingers don’t get messy. So I ate my chicken wings with chopsticks.It worked, kind of. Halfway through our meal, Logan spilled water all over his lap. Something like this happens pretty much whenever we go out. If you have kids, you know. The staff quickly swarmed us and wanted to helped. Alanna pantomimed for a towel, but they shook their heads, went away and came back 10 seconds later with… a hair dryer. I kid you not. Is this something they just have on hand for times like this? They wanted to get up and blow dry Logan’s shorts dry.Which we did, to the best of our ability. Well, Alanna did. I just sat there and laughed the whole time. The food though… was the bomb.Alanna and I loved every single thing we put in our mouth.And there was a lot of it.How much did it cost?$20 bucks for all of it. And you do NOT tip in China, so it was just $20.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten half the stuff that has already happened, so I’ll end this first blog with some random thoughts in no particular order.
We get stared at everywhere we go. Alanna thinks it’s my beard. But our kids get looks too. 99.9% of the peeps here are Chinese. So us crazy looking white folk stick out like sore thumbs. Even babies stare at us. One kid ran away from his Mom just to come to have a better look.
We aren’t supposed to flush our toilet paper in our apartment. So… when we do our business, the spent TP goes into the trash can. Thankfully the Ayi cleans that up.
China’s landscape is gorgeous. I mean GORGEOUS. We’re in a coastal area that also is surrounded by mountains. The forests are lush and green. And there are islands all over the sea.
The internet is blocked by the great firewall. To get to anything remotely American, you need a VPN.
Have you ever seen all those sites where there are badly translated English sayings on t-shirts? Those are real. They are hilarious. They are all over the place.
Driving here is a little crazy. They just get so close, pull out in front of you, and generally don’t obey any laws known to mankind.
We’re in the future here. We’re 12 hours ahead of east coast, USA. So when you’re awake, I’m usually sleeping.
Ok, that’s surely enough reading for now.Ya’ll take care out there.
We found out this weekend we’ll be living in a 4 bedroom/4 bath apartment on the 17th floor. They sent us some videos and pictures of the place. The above picture is quick preview of the view from our balcony. I ain’t complaining.
Yup, China. We’ve been back in the states since 2014. Every so often though, we take a peek online at what might be available overseas. We’d had some close calls, some tropical island adventures, some wintry playgrounds, but until now we’ve yet to pull the trigger on anything. And then, China. You know the place right? Largest population in the world, Communism, the Great Wall, crazy language differences like – 我喜欢乌龟, and of course, delectable food choices. There were many questions, pros and cons, but ultimately it came down to two main things:
1. Does this move benefit the entire family?
2. Is it a financially smart decision?
We were able to successfully answer yes to both these questions. So, at the very beginning of August, we’ll be flying around the world to experience something brand new for the foreseeable future. Alanna and I will be leaving our jobs at the end of June, then use July to visit family, get some much needed R&R and to make final our travel preparations before heading out to southeast China.
For those of you reading this blog for the first time, he’s a quick recap of where we’ve lived since 2007:
North Carolina
Illinois
United Arab Emirates
North Carolina again
New Jersey
Ecuador
Iowa
North Carolina again
Yeah, we get around. A lot. I like the life though. Possessions used to be such a big deal to me. You name it, I wanted to be cool and own it. Gadgets, DVDs, swords, memorabilia, I collected it all. Then, I met this really awesome, smoking hawt chick. Her name is Alanna. She became the peanut butter to my jelly, the Abbot to my Costello, the Tweedle dee to my Tweedle dum, and to keep the China theme, the Yin to my Yang. This Alanna chick? I married her. Now, while she too had possessions and baggage of her own, she always seemed to value experiences more than stuff. Sure, you can go on vacations and buy all kinds of cool souvenirs, but its the memories of what happened when you go rather than the trinkets you collect that make the difference. So, slowly over time, Alanna helped me go from
Possessions > Experiences to Experiences > Possessions.
I tell you all this to try to explain our WOL – Way of Life. The reason we pack up, move around a lot, is because we love the experiences that it creates for our family. We’re all more well rounded as human beings for this. Do we have a huge house? No. Do I have a cool man cave? No. How does our 401(k) look? Hahahahaha. I don’t care though. There are two things in my life that matter most to me – My family, and the amazing experiences I’m privileged to have with them. Everything else just aint that high on my cool radar.
Sorry, its been 4 months since I posted. No reason other than me being a lazy poo poo head. So I’ll give you a quick update and then show you a bunch of pictures, mmkay?
Our “spring break” was in February. I guess its not really a spring break when the weather is always amazing though. But it was a break and we took full advantage of it. The first part of the break we flew to Iowa. You know, corn, snow, corn. As most of you know, we’ve decided to move back to the States to get Logan into some special education programs. There really isn’t anything here for him and its become a very difficult struggle for both him and us. Thankfully, Alanna had quite a few options of the WHERE when we moved back to the States. Choices ranged from California, NC, SC, to… Iowa. Iowa you say? Yes, Iowa. Iowa offered Alanna the chance to become a first time principal. The tiny little town offered to fly us there so Alanna could have a formal interview (she’d already WOWed them on Skype) and so they could meet us, we could meet them. There was a foot of snow on the ground when we got there. That was quite a shock after it being 70 degrees every day for 6 months. I think both Alanna and fell in love with the idea of “Iowa” pretty quickly – low cost of living, family friendly, small community, it seemed like a nice fit for us. And a chance to hopefully settle down for a good while. Long story short, Alanna accepted and we’ll be moving to Iowa July 1st. So that means a new job for me. I’ve been on the hunt, but thankfully our finances means I don’t have to rush.
We flew back to Ecuador after the weekend and prepared for part 2 of our break – The Galapagos. They are actually a part of Ecuador, a few hours off the coast. The islands are on many, many people’s bucket lists, so it was kind of silly for us not to go since we were so close. Again, Alanna did most of the planning, and found us a cheap 2 bedroom apartment on the main island to rent for a week. The trip was simply amazing. You really feel like you’re in the wildest, broadest habitat you’ve ever seen. The wildlife and plant life was a sight to behold. Everywhere you turned, there was a lizard you’d never seen, or a flower you’d never heard of, or a sea lion sleeping on a park bench. And it was nice to be in a place that’s 90 degrees when most of your friends are back in the States having the worst winter ever. We didn’t do as much as other adventurous tourists did, as we had the little ones with us, but we did hike in lava caves, see giant turtles, swim with iguanas, ate traditional food, had a sunset view on our terrace, watched a daughter become a local celebrity, and a ton of other really cool things I can’t remember. Its a week I’ll never forget and to get to spend it with my family made it all the more sweeter.
The last two months have been pretty tame compared to our previous adventures. Even in Ecuador, its easy to settle into day to day life. I work, Alanna takes care of the kids, and the house, all while getting her doctorate. No idea how she does it. Last weekend was Easter though, so we made it a point to get out of the house for the day. The Equator which runs through Ecuador is only about an hour north of where we live. Its a popular tourist attraction for gringos and locals alike, so we left early Saturday morning to visit the center line of Earth. It was hot, but not too crowded. There’s a long yellow line that denotes the Equator, that runs through a giant monument. Lot’s of people take pics of their feet on each side of the line. We did the campy photos of course. I even tried to sit Abby down on the line but she immediately started crying, which will make a great picture for her when she’s older. Abby again became the talk of the town though. Ecuadorians flock to her. A beautiful, pale skinned, blue eyed baby is very rare to see down here, and people always stop us to gawk at her. They talk about how pretty she is, how chubby she is, how beautiful her eyes are. Then they ask to hold her. Then they ask to take pictures with her. Yes, at the Equator, where people should be taking pics of themselves, we had more than one group of people ask to specifically take pictures with Abby. The father in me hopes she’s not this pretty when she’s 16. I will have to stomp a mudhole in some boys. Anyway, we had a great time there. They had a big village full of tourist gifts, and there was music and dancing to keep us entertained. So check that off the list.
Now we’re about a month out from leaving. We’re flying to Miami on June 1st, driving up the coast, hanging on the beach of a few days, then family hopping for the rest of month in NC. I’ll miss this country, but I’m ready for the next step, whatever that’s going to be.
Okay, here are some pictures to keep your eyes entertained…
I haven’t blogged in quite a while. I decided that for the entire month of December I would take a social media break. It was a culmination of many things – most of which were just annoying things that people post on these kind of sites. So on December 1st I removed all my social media favorites from Chrome and my phone and promised myself I wouldn’t look at any of them for the entire month. Let me tell you, it was great. Sure, I missed wishing people happy birthday and seeing what my friends around the world were up to, but that was about it. Here are some things I did NOT miss –
Political arguments President bashing Other party bashing Healthcare debates Bitstrips Hashtags Instagram pictures of people stuff copied and pasted from the internet People talking about last night’s episode Ducky Dynasty App invites Status updates that talk about what mundane thing you did People posting about privacy issues People posting about drones Drunk NYE pictures
There are plenty more, and most of these I do mean in jest, but honestly… it was a lovely break.
On the Ecuador..
We’re still living and loving this country. I gave up on my scooter dream when we figured we’d save more money by not buying one and me just taking taxis to and from work every day. I did buy a bicycle though. I bought it off an Ebay type of site in Ecuador and they even delivered it to my house, the next day. Trouble is, while the back looked assembled and ready to go, you are supposed to tighten every single bolt and screw down before you go out riding. People usually buy the bike, take it to a bike shop and have a guy tune it up before they ride. So I got home from work that night and took it out immediately for a spin and… broke some stuff. One of the guards of my complex was nice enough though to take my bike to a shop and get ti fixed and tuned up for me. So the next day I was out riding like I was supposed to. There is an awesome bike/walk/run trail that runs some 20 kilometers and has a few geocaches to boot. I’ve only made it about 5K so far, but it’s fun, relaxing and gets me moving on my own without a taxi.
Work is fine, but I was happy to have a Christmas break. We celebrated a low key Christmas day. Logan enjoyed opening his presents and then thankfully enjoyed playing with them for most of the day. We got out of town on the 26th and headed down south to Banos (yes, bathroom). It’s an awesome touristy, gringo town with hot baths and a bunch of waterfalls, and all kinds of other stuff. It’s a 4 hour trip down to Banos, so I convinced Alanna that it would be good to take a $3.50 bus round trip. The buses around here are a bit crazy… to put it mildly. Alanna was REALLY worried and nervous, but thankfully the bus ride was uneventful for the most part, and our children were well behaved. And by well behaved, I mean that Logan didn’t have a pee or poop emergency.
Banos was amazing. Alanna did all the planning, cause that’s what she does. She booked a gorgeous, American family-run hostal. It was 3 blocks from one of the waterfalls, and we got free breakfast every morning. And the shower water was hot… which is a rare treat here. There were a few things in Banos I HAD to do. One was the swing at the edge of the world. Its a large, old tree house with a simple swing attached to it… that… if you swing out on it you swing off and over a cliff. Very thrilling. We had a taxi drive us up the mountain to the spot, then we preceded to hike up a wet hill with a 4 year old and a baby. Alanna was a little nervous. There were a few people already there when we made it to the top. We waited our turn, took some pictures in front of the tree house, then I jumped on the swing and Alanna nervously snapped some cool pics. Then… ALANNA DID IT. Ok, I basically made her to it, but she’ll tell you it was a blast and is glad she did it. Overall cool family adventure experience. We hiked back down the hill, getting some help from an Ecuadorian dude, then took the taxi down and then up to Bella Vista. Its basically a nice view point spot that overlooks Banos. GREAT VIEW. And there was a geocache nearby so I snagged it.
The second thing our my to do list was to go puenting. Its basically jumping off a really high bridge with a rope attached to you. No, its not bungee jumping. It is literally just a rope. You jump, then swing under the bridge, then get lowered down to the ground. So I had the taxi drop me off at the bridge (Alanna was too nervous to watch.) and headed out to the middle. I watched a few people jump and then paid my $20 to do it. Being a skydiver, I paid close attention to the harness and rigging they put me in, and the stuff looked pretty safe. I climbed over the rail of the bridge, stood on a tiny little wooden platform, counted to 3, then dove head first off towards a river 200 meters below. While it doesn’t give the same rush as skydiving, it was still really fun and I’m glad I did it.
The rest of our vacation we spent relaxing, eating and doing the touristy stuff. Banos is known for their hot baths so we had to give that a try. It was mediocre. The one we went to looked like a giant community pool. The water was warm enough, but sort of smelled like pee and they made you wear shower caps. But again, it was an experience.
The bus ride back, as with coming back from anywhere seemed to take forever. The driver pulled over at one point at a garage and decided it was time for an oil filter change. The engine was basically under the front row of seats, you know… where we were sitting. So they lifted up a door under us and got to work. Alanna was a little nervous. But they finished quickly enough and we were back on the road. We made it home and spent the last few days doing… nothing. Which I was more than happy about. Yesterday, we went over to a friend’s house and swam in their heated pool. Logan had a blast and actually let me throw him in the pool a few times, which I think is a huge step for him. It was Abby’s first time in a pool so we made sure to snap some pics. Last night was low key again for us, though Ecuador is CRAZY about New Years. Firstly, some men dress up like women, widows or something and beg for money by stopping cars in the middle of the street. Also, the locals make these paper mache dolls and then burn them at midnight. It is supposed to symbolize the getting rid of the old stuff from last year. Also, they eat 12 grapes at midnight to bring them good luck for each month of the new year. And finally.. the fireworks. You know how you see one show of fireworks somewhere on NYE? Well I’m pretty sure everyone in Ecuador had fireworks last night. They started around 8pm and didn’t stop until 2am. I gave Alanna some lip locking at midnight and then quickly made my way up to the roof. No matter where I looked for 360 degrees, I could see fireworks going off. It was pretty dang impressive. And it was neat to look down at the street and see people burning a bunch of paper mache figures.
OK, so now you’re all caught up. Happy New Year to you and yours.
I was looking at my weather app last night and seeing some of the places I’ve lived. While most of them were in the 30s and 40s in temps, it was a nice 60 something here. I really can’t complain about the weather. We are officially into “rainy season”, but when its 75 degrees out, rain ain’t so bad. Although every time I take the family outside to go somewhere, it always seems to pour as we are getting in and out of a taxi. Just. our luck I guess.
We’re into November now. No Shave November that is, and once again, to Alanna’s dismay, I’m growing out a beard. At least this time its for charity. I mean, yeah, growing a beard and raising money for charity really don’t go together, but I figure whatever you can do to help other people, in whatever way, is a good thing. So here’s the info for my charity if you’d like to donate –
The family has been here for almost a month now and seem to be adjusting well enough. Alanna LOVES being a stay at home parent. I was lucky enough to do it in the UAE, so I know how rewarding it can be. She’s also fixing up some lovely dinners for me each night when I come home from work. Abby has her crying fits now and then, but for the most part she seems like a happy little baby. I can make her laugh at the drop of a hat, which pretty much makes me happy for the rest of the day. Logan… on the other hand, has been a problem. Are there such things as the terrible fours? He seems to have regressed a little. And going out with him is stressful. Hopefully its just mostly being in a new place and he’ll eventually shape up and get back to his normal self.
We’ve had two busy weeks. Two weeks ago was Family Day at the school. Its sort of like a fall festival, but there’s also a socc…. excuse me… futbol tournament, and the whole country seems to be invited. It was a nice chance to bring the family out to the school for them to meet people and the weather stayed nice. The tournament was fun to watch at times and our school’s team got the bronze medal. I also had to work at the festival just for a bit. I was assigned to monitor the casa de terror, or haunted house for all you who have no idea what I just said. The theme of the haunted house was an abandoned insane asylum. It was created and put on by the 12th graders. I really had nothing to do with it. They did have an introductory video that people watched before they went inside, and I was in charge of pushing play. Let me just say, the graphic, horrific material they put in that video would give most people the frights for weeks. I counted at least 10 kids who walked… ran… out of the room screaming and crying. I didn’t even go through the actual haunted house, but people who came out were white as sheets. Not sure it was appropriate for the 4 and 5 year olds that went through, but hey, its Ecuador right?
Halloween was last week and we actually got out for some trick or treating. Its not a hugely celebrated holiday here, but Logan already had a Spiderman costume he was dying to wear and we didn’t want to disappoint. One of my teacher friends found out her neighborhood was actually doing trick or treating, so we took a taxi over there and then walked around the neighborhood. Only 10 or so houses actually opened their doors for us, but they were all nice and gave candy. Logan had a blast after initially complaining about being sick. Abby was dressed as Minnie Mouse and just hung out in the stroller. There were small groups of Ecuadorian kids dressed up too, as well as 1000 dogs throughout the neighborhood that barked every time we passed them. There are a LOT of dogs here.
This weekend we also had All Souls Day. While its not that big in the States, apparently its huge down here. From what we gathered, locals go to the graves of their departed family members and have… lunch with them? I dunno, I’m still confused about that one. All seemed well and good until about midnight when apparently everyone decided to shoot off fireworks… until the sun came up. So that tended to keep us up all night. They also shot them off the next night as well, not sure why though. They REALLY like fireworks here. And loud noises. And dogs. And socc…. futbol.
Good morning, blog readers. I’m running on fumes this week, but thankfully I’m reunited with the most important people in the world (in no particular order) – Alanna, Logan and Abby. I flew out of Ecuador last Friday at midnight, arrived in Miami in the wee hours, had a lovely layover, got to Charlotte around 1pm and then Hickory where the family was staying with my favorite big sister Angie at about 3:30pm Friday afternoon. And it was all worth it. Honestly, there is no better feeling of seeing your son screaming your name and running to hug you as soon as you get out of the car. Alanna waited patiently while Logan go all his Daddy love in, then she planted a well-deserved kiss on me. Next was Abby. I was a little worried about her. I hadn’t seen her since a week after she was born. Would she remember me? Would she cry when I held her? I have no idea if she remembered me or not, but she gave me the biggest, toothless smile I have every seen when I held her and I knew then and there that all was right in the world. Well, except for the U.S. government, but I digress.
The weekend in the States went by so quickly thanks to me cramming in every single possible thing a person could do in those few hours of time. Friday night, Angie babysat the kids for us while Alanna and I had a quick date. Outback was my choice for dinner. Its not Alanna’s most favorite, but she understands I needed a nice big prime rib and some aussie cheese fries to get me moving through the weekend. We did some quick shopping for items that we needed to take back with us at Target, then headed home, packed a little and then I was in bed at midnight. And then up at 6am. My 20 year high school reunion was Saturday night, but some of my closest dude friends weren’t going to make it. We had originally planned to play a backyard football game, like we did for the 10 year reunion, but between all our other commitments and the main fact we didn’t want to break our old, brittle bones, we ditched the game and just met at Cracker Barrel for breakfast. It was great seeing the fellas. We razz on each other so much, but these are the guys that have been with me since grade school. Although I don’t see them as nearly as much as I would like, and rarely ever all together in one room, I love these dudes like my family and I’m so proud we stay in touch.
I quickly drove back to Hickory after breakfast, ran a few more errands and got a haircut at Sportclips. Mmm… hot towel and scalp massage. Can’t beat that for $23. My parents drove up to Hickory to have lunch with us. We had Bojangles. So good going in, not the best going out, but I love the stuff and obviously can’t get it in Ecuador. I spent some quality time with the family, letting my parents hold Abby and talk to Logan, and then it was time to head out to the reunion in Concord. We left a little early so we could hopefully avoid the race traffic around Charlotte Motor Speedway (it was race weekend, which meant a bagillion extra people around my hometown) and also to see about getting Alanna’s iphone fixed which Logan had dropped in the toilet a month earlier. Quick plug for – Charlotte iPhone Repair. Lot’s of places won’t even touch water damaged phones. Alex, the owner was able to get it working perfectly in about 15 minutes. If you have ANY problems with your iphones, go see this guy.
Well Abby decided to mess up her outfit by blowing out her diaper (you get the picture) and in the rush we didn’t bring a change of clothes with her from Hickory for her. So before the reunion, we had to take a detour to Walmart and grab something quick and cute for her to wear. And yes, I did bring a baby to a reunion. We were those people. Abby is just not good with the bottle yet and much prefers the real thing from mommy. We finally got to the reunion right on time. It was a blast to see my old classmates, some who I haven’t seen in almost 20 years. It was a TERRIBLE turnout, and I would I have loved to see more people, but the ones who were there made it fun and memorable. We’re planning on doing another one for 25 years, so hopefully more people will show up – especially all of you that live 15 minutes away and didn’t really have anything else on your plate that night.
We got back to Hickory around 11:30 Saturday night, finished last minute packing and went to bed…. to get back up at 5:00 so we could drive to Charlotte airport. We said our goodbyes to Angie, hopped in the rental van (with one last Sundrop in tow) and made it to the airport on time and without incident. Well, Logan had to pee once, but that’s to be expected.
Airlines usually allow 2 checked bags for free on international flights. But I guess they can just change their policies at anytime, without telling anyone, even if you’ve already booked your tickets AND have written proof you should get 2 free checked bags. So, we found out that we had to pay and extra $270 at check in. That was lovely way to start our trip back to Ecuador. Oh… American Airlines was the airline we used so feel free to hate on them in whatever way you can. The rest of the trip actually went pretty well. For the most part, Logan and Abby were little angels on both the flights and we even got compliments from other passengers on how well our kids behaved on the plane. This was Alanna’s biggest worry I believe, so the kids being good really helped keep her calm. Did I mention she gets a little nervous on travel days? We got into Ecuador around 7pm on Sunday night and after a little hassle about one of our bags at customs, we made it outside unmolested and the director of our school was even there to pick us up. Some way or another we crammed our umpteen pieces of luggage into his SUV, sat on top of each other and made it to Tumbaco around 9:00. Alanna loves the new place, and Logan loves his new Spiderman themed room. And Abby, well she loves Mommy’s milk I guess.
We’re slowly settling in this week. I’m back to work of course and Alanna is unpacking and decorating. All of us took a trip to the grocery store last night. Not the best plan, but I wanted to get them out of the apartment. Overall though, we’re doing well and are very happy to have each other again. And I brought back GTA V which should keep entertain me for a fee months! Adios!
