It is almost the end of October here in the UAE. While the temps are still hot during the day, the weather feels GREAT at night. Not too hot, not too cold. Wonderfuly pleasant one might say.
We finally invited some friends over to our place on Thursday for Game Night. We all made Mexican food (well I bought some chips and salsa) and sat around talking and playing board games. I love board games, and good conversations, so the night was a big success. Hopefully we can bounce around to different people’s places and do this one a week, or as often as possible.
Our apartment is also finally in working order. The guys eventually came to fix the lights one day, and then a few days later they got the A/C running in the living room. So now, for better or for worse, we have a live able apartment. We do need some rugs and stuff to hang on the walls to spice the place up a bit though.
Being somewhat involved in the entertainment business (my job at House of the Arts) still has its benefits. When I went in to teach last Wednesday, they gave me two tickets to see the New York Philharmonic Orchestra which was playing in townon Saturday. We wanted to go anyway, but the tickets were really expensive. So I told Alanna the good news, we lined up a babysitter (the lovely Alma Joy), got all dressed up, and headed out on Saturday night. The orchestra was playing inside Al Jahli fort, which is a 100 year old fort on the east side of Al Ain. It was very important back in the day as it was a defensive position to guard trade routes and protect the natural oasis. I have taken many pictures of it, but never went inside. So we got there and there were a ton of people, mostly expats. Many were dressed to the nines in tuxedos! Our dress choices put us somewhere in the middle, which was perfectly acceptable. We passed through the giant wooden gate doors and were led to our seats. We are in the middle section about 20 yards from the stage they had set up. The inside of the fort has no top, of course, so you could see the moon and stars. Such a great view! The orchestra started at 8pm and from the first note I was amazed. It literally sounded like something that you listen to on the most expensive and technically advanced stereo system you can buy. They played Brahms’ Violin Concerto, and then Beethoven’s 7th Symphony. I figured going in I would like the Beethoven piece more, but the guy who played the solo violin parts on the Brahms’ piece was so amazing. That dude has more talent in the tip of his pinky finger than I could ever hope to have in my whole body. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and a lovely date with my wife!
Some guys from Brazil moved into our old apartment complex in Al Ain after we left. Turns out, these guys were brought over by the UAE government to teach Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to high school students. I also heard through the grapevine (Alma Joy is buddy buddy with one of the guys) that they would be offering an adult class to anyone who wanted to come out. Now I’ve always wanted to “try” something like this. I am a avid fan of Mixed Martial Arts and enjoy watching the UFC whenever I get the chance. For the uneducated, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a martial art that involves taking your opponent to the ground and getting him to submit (tap out) by applying different holds to various parts of the body. You can choke a guy out, you can put him in an arm bar, a leg lock, an angle, and many other nasty holds. If done correctly, either you tap out or you’ll either a) be choked out or b) have something dislocated or broken. Yes, sounds very unpleasant but its something I’ve wanted to experience. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not the type of guy who watches that stuff on TV and thinks, “Oh, I can do that. I can kick some butt!” Oh no, that’s not me. I am usually the guy who turns the other cheek. But again, I wanted to at least give it a shot. So they let you attend some classes for free to see if you like it. Tonight, was the first class. I went with Alma and Lynea, two of Alanna’s teacher buddies. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought it would be more like a self defense class where we’d sit in a little circle, some guy would ask for volunteers and he’d show us some moves. Well… I was wrong. We walked into the gym and there were about 30 guys already there, most of them dressed in those karate type outfits. I was in a t-shirt and sweatpants. There was a good mixture of Brazilians, Expats, and a few Emirates. It was a little intimidating. Of the 30 guys, 10 of them were over 6’3” and were built of pure muscle. The other guys were all about my size, but ripped. There were a few out of shape guys like me, then one really out of shape guy who didn’t make it through the whole night. So I sat down in a chair with the girls because, well, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. A few minutes pass by, and then some giant Brazilian man walks up to me and asks, “Would you like to train?” Of course I say yes. So I take off my shoes and socks and then move to the large mat, which comfortably fit all 30 of us. I bowed as a stepped on the mat, as I saw guys doing this every time they entered and exited the mat. We got in a few lines, 4 or 5 leader guys up front looking at us. We all bowed, then got into a big circle and starting running around the edge of the mat. I expected some type of short cardio warm-up, so this didn’t surprise me. Even though I haven’t done much cardio in awhile, I can usually hold my own with basic exercise. So we ran, did some high knee lift running, then some running where you slapped you hands with your feet from behind, then we bounced around on both feet. Next, we continued the running, but after each lap, we would drop down and do 10 quick push-ups. At this point I was starting to build up some perspiration. Next, as we got to each side of the mat, we were told to do various things – sliding knee lunges across the mat, front rolls across the mat, back rolls across the mat, even this weird thing where we laid (lied? Lay?) down on our back and shifted our weight from side to side, scooting across the mat. I managed to do this stuff and not look like a complete moron. The only thing I noticed was that when you’re barefoot on a wrestling type mat, you quickly begin to get rug burns on your feet and knees, when you slide them across. And by rug burns, and mean the skin was peeling off my toes. After that, we continued to run around in circles, but then were asked to partner up with someone. I picked a guy beside me, a very nice Brazilian guy who spoke little English, but seemed to know exactly what was going on. I later estimated he could have killed me with his pinky. I’m not making that up. So yeah, we partner up while we were running in the circle. We were instructed to turn and face our partner, then pick him up, sort of like a fireman’s carry on the shoulder, except you just pick him straight up from his knees and lift, no putting him on your shoulder. You pick him up, walk a few steps, then put him down. You repeat the whole process a bagillion times around the circle, then switch and the guy picks you up. Thankfully the guy was about my weight so he wasn’t too difficult to pick up each time. Well that ended the warm-up, some 45 minutes later. I was sweaty, tired, but in good spirits. Next, we partnered up again (got with the same guy, don’t remember his name though) and were shown some various ground moves by the head guy (who I later found out was a black belt in the art form). He would explain the move, then we would practice for two minutes. By practice, I mean you had to do the move over and over again as quickly as possible – so the cardio never really ended. We did some easy moves first – basically moving back and forth over our opponent to establish a half or full guard, then under them to try and get out of the guard. One was a pretty complicated series of about 10 different moves until you have the guy trapped like a pretzel and you can flip him over, then use his own weight to pull you on top to be in full guard. Memorizing the different moves was a little complicated, but I got it right a few times. The guy I was with was very helpful and polite, and very patient with me being a complete newb. We did a few more moves, but the instructor saved the best move of the night for last. It was a rolling arm bar thing-a-ma-bobber. Basically, you start off on your back, the guy on top of you, then pull the guy’s arm across your chest to pin it between you and him, scoot your hips to the side, sling one leg over the back and his head, push him down and flip him over with that leg, while trapping his arm between your legs as you lie flat on your back. From this position, the slightest pressure you put on a guy’s elbow can be extremely painful. It doesn’t take much for someone to tap out in that position. Well, it didn’t take much for me to tap out anyway. Maybe I’m a wimp, but that move really hurts when done correctly. By this time of the night, 1 ½ hours in, I and plum tuckered out. But we’re not done yet. For the next 30 minutes, the last 30 minutes thank God, we were partnered with different guys and told to… “go at it” for 5 minute sparring sessions. This is where I got a little worried. I sat at the first 5 minutes to just watch. Some of the guys we’re really intense, rolling around on the floor, doing crazy stuff, choking, arm barring, leg holds, etc. This was business time. No playing around. Some guy grabbed me after the first session and wanted me to have a go. He matched me up with another expat about my size. The guy was nice, but pretty much OWNED ME for 5 minutes. He stopped here and there to show me a few things, some type of wrist lock that hurt REALLY bad, and a few other things. The rest of the time he threw me around like a ragdoll. I just tried to play defense and not have him hurt me too bad. He put me in a few choke holds where he basically was choking me out with my own arm. I quickly tapped out each time as soon as I felt hopeless. At the end of the 5 minutes, I was completely drained, but immediately was paired up with someone else – this time with a really nice, polite Brazilian dude. This guy had more muscles than Arnold. He wasn’t big or anything, just ripped all over with no body fat. This guy also didn’t speak a lick of English. One of the instructors came over and told ME to take it easy on HIM. I laughed, though on inside I cried like a baby. This guy was all business once we started. He was so quick and strong. He pinned me to the ground, and just the way he positioned his chest on top of mine made me not able to breathe. He put me in a rear naked choke three different times. The first two times, I tapped as soon as he got it clamped down. But the third time I thought I’d be brave. He “got my back” and applied the choke, but I was able to work my hand between my neck and his arm (and by able to, I mean I am 100% sure he let me) and struggle with him for two minutes. Finally, I tired out and he locked in the hold. But I didn’t tap. No no, stupid Rob tried to hold on for awhile. And that’s when I started seeing stars and things started to go black. Yeah, I was about 3 seconds away from completely passing out. So I quickly tapped his arm and he let go of the hold. Immediately though all the blood came back to my head and I was fine. He continued to torment me the rest of the time, using that rolling arm bar on me to make me tap quickly. After 30 minutes with various partners, we stopped, lined up, bowed to the instructors, then went around bowing to each other and shaking hands. I was very glad it was over. I was soaked in sweat, was dead tired, and there wasn’t a spot on my body that didn’t hurt. I also had rug burns on my feet, knees and knuckles. I had plenty of respect for the guys before I even stepped in the door, but now I have even MORE respect. All of them were very polite and professional. There was no macho crap like you see when you watch the UFC. It is an amazing art that I would have been OK at – 15 years ago. I just don’t think my body can’t take that kind of punishment week end and week out. It was a very neat learning experience though. Now I’m sitting at home, popping the pain pills and aching all over. I know tomorrow morning I will barely be able to get out of bed. To sum things up, I spent two hours of my night getting taken behind the woodshed. They stomped a mudhole in me and walked it dry. These guys were the real deal indeed. I can confidently take Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu off the bucket list.
